Author: P. Beckert
Craigslist Ad Looking for Master Catapult Builder
As recently seen on Austin Craigslist: EXPERIENCED CATAPULT BUILDER (N. AUSTIN) Date: 2010-03-26, 9:33PM CDT Reply to: job-phthuttt-1639419@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Group of Investors looking for experienced carpenter to build over-sized catapult sturdy enough to fling Rush Limbaugh…
Glenn Beck to Develop Children’s Show on Fox
NEW YORK, NY (GlossyNews) — In an effort to reel in kiddies as early as they are able to watch television, the Fox Channel has begun the process of developing a Saturday morning kids’ show featuring Glenn Beck, invoking a…
McDonald’s Happy Meal a Day Can Prolong Life of Your Body
Denver, CO – A nutritionist, bent on taking McDonald’s down for its unhealthy practice of dishing up preservative-laden foods to the general public, has now admitted that although there are enough preservatives in a McDonald’s bun alone to allow it…
Thank You Very Much, See You in Hell
The phrase “Thank you very much, see you in hell,” is becoming as popular as “Thank you, come again” at some Middle Eastern-run convenience stores across America. TYVMSYH signs are being displayed above the licenses of most of the stores,…
Glenn Beck Wants Viewers’ Blood in Protest of Healthcare Reform
Taking a cue from the Red Shirt movement in Thailand where approximately 50,000 protesters siphoned their own blood to throw on members of Congress, Glenn Beck is considering asking his viewers to have their blood drawn and sent to his…
Sarah Palin and Entourage Spotted Stocking Up at the Oscars
Hollywoodland Early reports out of Los Angeles have Sarah Palin mit entourage stocking up on luxury items at the pre-Oscars Gifting Suite hosted by Silver Spoon; however a Silver Spoon spokesperson says she was gracious and kind while she was…
Subsidi-Farm Granted USDA Contract to Develop Seedless Pot
Washington, D.C. – In what was hailed as a “good news, bad news” story today out of Washington, Subsidi-Farm, one of the nation’s largest agricultural companies, has been granted a federal contract to develop seedless, irradiated pot, which, among other…
Same-Sex Marriage Now Legal in Washington, DC
Half of Congress already reported to have applied for licenses.
Succession and Secession Causing Palin Major Confusion
HOUSTON, TX — Sarah Palin, speaking a few weeks ago at a rally for Rick Perry, referred to news about Texans wanting to secede from the union by saying, “They got that wrong. Texas today, I don’t think they’re seceding,…
Glenn Beck Credits Himself for Predicting Recent Wave of Violence
Pahrump, NV In one of his many “I told you so” moments, Glenn Beck has commented that he is the first one to tell his viewers that violence against the US government by fed up citizens was going to start…