Author: P. Beckert
Glenn Beck Online University Institutes Dress Code
COLORADO CITY, Arizona (GlossyNews) — Glenn Beck University was begun earlier this year by Glenn Beck following his receiving an honorary doctorate from fundamentalist Christian-led Liberty University. Beck now believes he is qualified to offer college-level courses in American History,…
6-Year Old Somali Girl Given Permission to Sail Solo Around the World
MOGADISHU, Somalia (Glossy News) — A six-year old Somali girl has been given permission by the Somali government to sail solo around the world in a 46-foot yacht commandeered by her father in a pirate raid off the coast of…
Brazil Economists Say Brazil Loss is Victory for Brazil Economy
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (GlossySports) -– While almost every Brazilian is saddened by the stunning loss of their team to the Netherlands in the quarter-final match, economists in Brazil are celebrating unabashedly, claiming that the loss has a decidedly silver…
More Letters from Summer Camp
Just like the little ones, summer camp exists for tweens too. Here is a sampling of a couple of letters the tweens have written home to earn their “composition” badges. Dear Kate (haha Mom), Thank you, thank you, thank you,…
Lindsay Lohan Shopped for Toiletries & Cigs Anticipating Jail Stay
OS ANGELES, California – (Glossy News) – Lindsay Lohan was lucky she had the benefit of other celebrities’ experiences in jail to help prepare her for what to expect when she went into the slammer. Big names such as Lil’…
Letters from Summer Camp
Glossy News, never too low to find new sources of information for you news hungry clowns, found the following letters in a number of trash cans throughout Beverly Hills: Hi Mommy, Greetings from Camp Wigwam. Did you know how dangris…
You May Not Know Alvin Greene Now, But You Will
IIMANNING, South Carolina (Glossy News) – It’s been over a month since virtual unknown Alvin Greene from South Carolina became the Democratic candidate to run against incumbent Republican, Jim DeMint for a United States Senate seat in November. As some…
Theoretical Physicist Fails to Impress Americas Got Talent Judges with Wormhole Act
CHICAGO, Illinois (GlossyNews) — Things got a little strange Wednesday night in Chicago when a one-man act by the name of Arcus Temporis came on stage armed only with a chalkboard and a piece of chalk and an eraser. “What…
Kate Gosselin Serves Pet Rooster for Dinner
WYOMISSING, Pennsylvania (GlossyNews) — This week’s installment of Kate Plus Eight entitled “We Named the Pet Rooster Jon” has Kate using every opportunity she can to let her audience know in no uncertain terms that her life is shit because…
Obama Vows to Kick Lobbyists Out of Washington Offices
Plans on Turning K Street into a Giant Dunk Tank WASHINGTON, DC (GlossyNews) -– Today, President Barack Obama took one of his strongest stands to date against the corporate interests dogging his efforts to bring true change to America. Not…