More Letters from Summer Camp

Just like the little ones, summer camp exists for tweens too. Here is a sampling of a couple of letters the tweens have written home to earn their “composition” badges.

Dear Kate (haha Mom),

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Did you know that Camp Swanomee is a boy/girl camp? I didn’t either, but hey, too late now, huh? I am having so much fun, I may not want to come home (OMG, LOL).

Me and some kid named Billy Jo McAllister are becoming really good friends. The counselors are saying we are maybe a little bit too friendly. I know you know what I mean mommy, cause that’s the way you are with your boyfriend, Teddy. Love is grand, isn’t it? Who knew I’d find true love at age 13? Now we finally have something in common.

Anyway, I have to go. We are having a film tomorrow on sex education. Wow, who would have thought summer camp would be so fun and so educational too? By the way, since I’m all grown up now, can I call you by your first name? I like it better than mom.

Have fun in Vegas with Teddy, wink wink.


Dear Mom,

You tricked me. This isn’t computer camp at all. It is a camp for fatties. Oh yeah, they want me to call it a fitness camp, my big fat hairy mistake! I’m being told already that I have an attitude. Gee, I wonder why? Could it be the fact that I haven’t had a ding dong for 3 days now?!!! That my diet consists of seaweed and tofu wieners? That instead of playing “Lair of the Dead Zombies” on my computer in my bedroom for the entire summer vacation, I’m doing push ups? Outdoors? Outdoorzzzzzuh?

Oh, I’m sure you and dad are having quite the laugh over this while you polish off a whole cheesecake apiece. That’s ok, just remember, paybacks are heck. In addition to the physical activities, we also have to attend counseling sessions. You should be expecting a knock on the door any day now from Children Protective Services.

Where’s the love now?

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at