Author: P. Beckert
American Poodle Club Rushes to Distance Itself from Gore Scandal
PORTLAND, Oregon (GlossyNews) — Police in Portland, Oregon are reopening their investigation into allegations that Al Gore groped and forced himself onto a masseuse at a local hotel in 2006. While not much has been made public about that incident,…
Chinese Government Says Yes to I-Ching, No to iPhone 4
BEIJING, China (GlossyNews) — Although the Chinese government has allowed consumers in Mainland China to own earlier versions of the iPhone, they are now cracking down saying that the iPhone 4 is too advanced and could bring more harm than…
Some Other Things You Didn’t Know Facebook Could Do
INTERWEBS, Cyberspace (GlossyNews) — It has recently come to the attention of many Facebook users that there are things going on by Facebook management that (1) they didn’t authorize; and (2) they don’t really care about as long as they…
Mix-up in Hell Has Satan Sending More than One Anti-Christ to Earth
HOLLISTER, California (GLossyNews) — Satan is said to be madder than hell at his minions this week after he learned that more than one, and possibly as many as eight Anti-Christs have been unleashed upon the Earth during the past…
Palin Stops Short of Referring to Self as Martyr (Barely)
TURLOCK, Calif. (GlossyNews) — In yet another controversial appearance of Sarah Palin, this time at the California State University, Stanislaus campus, Sarah complained of how her message is being met with the same controversy over and over–that she is undeserving…
Teenager Asked for ID to Buy Whipped Cream
ATLANTA, Ga. (GlossyNews) — When a new product comes to market, it doesn’t take long for the younger crowd to scope it out and try to scoop it up, especially when that new product contains alcohol. Such is the case…
Four North Korean Soccer Players Missing, More to Follow
DURBAN, South Africa (GlossyNews) — Four players on the North Korean Soccer Team have gone missing. They were unaccounted for on Friday when they failed to show up for practice. Rumors are swirling that the missing team members have defected…
Monkeys Replace Humans as Referees for World Cup 2010
Durban, South Africa – After many complaints about the poor calls being made by the referees hired to service the World Cup 2010 soccer matches, FIFA officials have decided to hire trained monkeys to referee the remaining games. Said one…
Kim Jong Il Punishes North Koreans with Live Broadcast of World Cup Match with Portugal
Pyongyang, North Korea (GlossyNews) -– The North Korean government struck an agreement with the Asia-Pacific Broadcasting Union to beam a live broadcast of the soccer game on Monday of the match between North Korea and Portugal. But instead of this…
Obama Picks Judge Judy to Decide Oil Spill Claims
NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (GlossyNews) — Ever since President Obama and BP announced that BP is putting up an initial $20 billion to pay for any legitimate claims that are filed as a result of damages incurred as a direct or…