Author: P. Beckert
American Spoof Writers Raked Over Coals by Queen Elizabeth
Those closest to Queen Elizabeth are saying that she is becoming quite upset with the way American satirists are cashing in on the upcoming nuptials between her grandson and Kate Middleton. Although she has long gotten over the rude treatment…
Dennis Miller Offering Glenn Beck Sidekick Job
Dennis Miller always had aspirations of being the next Bill O’Reilly or “Billy” as he calls him, or the next Glenn Beck. But, even though he does have his own radio talk show, so far, it’s only gotten him a…
CIA Secret Operation “Xbox 360 Fever” Underway to Topple Taliban
The CIA is mum on a new secret operation designed to take the Taliban out once and for all. The concept of Operation “Xbox 360 Fever” is based on this country’s own experience with realistic computer games. “It is mainly…
Don’t Blame the Rich, It’s a Generational Thing
Just as the rich say that breaking the cycle of poverty is a never-ending battle because it is self-perpetuating, some are now using that same logic to try and explain the unmitigated greed that is threatening to tear apart entire…
Patriots for Pot Put Support behind Morgan Freeman for President
A more liberal-leaning sect of the Tea Party known as the Patriots for Pot are putting their money behind actor Morgan Freeman for President even though he’s not running (officially). Dilbert “Doobie” Warner, President of the Patriots for Pot Party…
Airline Bans Overly Tall Man from Flying the Friendly Skies
Afraid of another air disaster involving a hole in the top of the passenger cabin, a major airline carrier has recently banned an overly tall traveler from boarding one of its jets en route from Oregon to California. While the…
Tom Hanks Plays Bill O’Reilly in Upcoming Autobiography
In an upcoming autobiography by Bill O’Reilly in which he prefers not to play himself, O’Reilly has hired Tom Hanks to step in and portray the “love him or hate him” darling of Fox News Channel. “At first I thought,…
Nano-Chip Brain Implant Allows Users to Instantly Speak Foreign Language
The first-ever nano-chip language translators are rolling off the assembly line and into cosmetic surgeons’ offices quicker than you can say “Se Habla Espanol?” No longer will it be necessary for those wishing to learn a second or even third…
Losers Claim Win-Win Just a Ploy
Losers around the world are waking up today to the sad realization that regardless of what they’ve been told in school and the workplace, the win-win scenario just doesn’t exist. “It’s a ploy,” said Winton Gardensalad from Montauk, NY. “I…
Subsidi-Farm Ramps up Medical Marijuana Production to Fund Libyan War
Cultivation of the US Government’s own strain of cannabis known as mellow-yellow by a government-sanctioned agricultural group known as Subsidi-Farm is being ramped up in order to help raise money for the latest war in Libya. The coffers are running…