Airline Bans Overly Tall Man from Flying the Friendly Skies

Afraid of another air disaster involving a hole in the top of the passenger cabin, a major airline carrier has recently banned an overly tall traveler from boarding one of its jets en route from Oregon to California.

While the man was not nearly tall enough to reach the ceiling by merely standing up, flight attendants were worried that should he get the urge to suddenly jump up and down with glee–say in the event he was told that the flight he was on might actually arrive on time–he could possibly cause a hole in an already stressed roof panel, thereby creating a dangerous situation for the other passengers.

Last seen, the man was boarding a Southwest Airlines flight instead.

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