Author: Laurence Brown
NPR Coverage of Petraeus Affair Interrupted by Annoying, Irrelevant Report on Syria Slaughter
WASHINGTON D.C. – National Public Radio came under attack from various sections of the mainstream media Tuesday, after its scheduled coverage of the ongoing General David Petreaus affair was bizarrely interrupted by an in-depth report on the most recent and…
Indianapolis Mayor Thinks A Bunch of Really Tall Skyscrapers Would Be Pretty Neat
INDIANAPOLIS – Peering philosophically out of his city-council building office window Monday, Mayor of Indianapolis Greg Ballard thinks that a whole bunch of “really freaking tall” skyscrapers would be pretty neat right about now. Even though his office remains devoid…
Snow Storm ‘Set to Bury Hundreds of Other News Stories’
INDIANAPOLIS – Heavy snow fall is expected to batter much of the Midwest Thursday, spawning fears that it may wipe out hundreds of “otherwise highly relevant news stories.” Production teams are on standby in news rooms across the state of…
Nation Subjects Obama to Another 4 Years
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a tight election contest, President Obama was officially subjected to another 4 years in office by a sadistic American electorate Tuesday. Mr. Obama, who has endured relentless and regularly unfounded attacks from the Republican Party in…
Ron Paul Still Campaigning Out In Nebraska Somewhere
GlossyNews.com – NEBRASKA, SOMEWHERE – With just hours to go until the polls close Tuesday, committed Republican Presidential candidate Ron Paul was reportedly still out on the campaign trail somewhere in Nebraska this morning. Though the GOP officially nominated Mitt…
Local Man Ready to Get Out There and Make His Terrible Decision Count
GlossyNews.com – INDIANAPOLIS – After months of bitter debating, hard-line rhetoric and a torrent of political attack ads, local man Peter Hackley insists he is ready to get out there and make his terrible and ill-considered decision count Tuesday. Basing…
Children’s Museum Launches Terrifying ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre’ Exhibit
INDIANAPOLIS – Ahead of its busy Halloween season this month, The Children’s Museum of Indianapolis today piloted a terrifying exhibit in which children were subjected to re-enacted scenes from the movie The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Offering families a special $5…
Republican Whose Home Destroyed by Hurricane Sandy Reluctantly Accepts Gov Handout
STAMFORD, CT – In the aftermath of one of the worst storms to batter the East Coast of the United States in recorded history, a Republican man whose lakeside house was left with almost $1.7-million-worth of damage at the hands…
Report: Hard To Tell If Brooklyn Battered by Hurricane
NEW YORK CITY, NY – According to hundreds of eye-witnesses in New York Monday, the borough of Brooklyn “may or may not” have been affected by the onslaught of Hurricane Sandy, with one onlooker insisting: “it’s honestly hard to tell”….
Facebook Man Skips Attractive Woman’s Cat Pictures
INDIANAPOLIS – Drawn to an alluring profile picture of an attractive work acquaintance named Danielle, Indianapolis man Mark Vasey subconsciously skipped past all of the 24-year-old’s cat pictures Saturday. Initially clicking on her latest profile picture, which shows the young…