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Ron Paul Still Campaigning Out In Nebraska Somewhere

Ron Paul Still Campaigning Out In Nebraska Somewhere

GlossyNews.com – NEBRASKA, SOMEWHERE – With just hours to go until the polls close Tuesday, committed Republican Presidential candidate Ron Paul was reportedly still out on the campaign trail somewhere in Nebraska this morning.

Though the GOP officially nominated Mitt Romney at the Republican National Convention over two months ago, Mr. Paul has nonetheless campaigned up and down some of his favorite down-homey tour stops, also giving stump speeches in Montana, Arkansas and Oklahoma.

“With all of your help,” Mr Paul told a crowd of 28 dedicated supporters, “we can win the Republican nomination in Tampa, and claim the White House in 2012! Are you with me?”

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Vowing to audit the Federal Reserve and abolish the IRS within his first year as President, Mr Paul said that he had not given up hope of capturing both his party’s nomination and the presidency, despite his conspicuous omission from the Republican ticket.

“Look, you just never know,” continued the 77-year-old. “Crazier things have happened. I will continue to campaign because I know, deep down, that what the American people really want to see is a return to the gold standard. We can do this together!”

This news comes on the back of earlier reports that the Texas Congressman is planning to campaign on into 2013, just to see what happens.

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This post was written by

- who has written 161 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

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13 Responses to “Ron Paul Still Campaigning Out In Nebraska Somewhere”

  1. Dave Martin says:

    Anyone who names his kid Rand has to be a little bit nuts.

  2. Mike Kelly says:

    Got to admire his determination and stupidity.

  3. John Cooker says:

    If only his supporters would take those Ron Paul for Pres signs out of their yards and bumper stickers off their cars, maybe he would concede.

  4. RP Fan says:

    Rand was not named after Ayn. It is short for Randal. Just as ‘Dave’ is short for clueless.

    Stupidity how? By campaigning on freedom and individual rights? For shame…

    My sign will stay in my yard until I swap it out for the ‘Don’t blame me, I voted for Ron Paul’ sign.

  5. PenSword says:

    Satire works only when it has some basis in truth.

    In short, Laurence would do well to avoid any attempt at writing satire.

  6. After over ten years of writing satire, something for which I was trained during a 3-year degree program at one of the top universities in England; after winning national awards for my work; after being published in a book highlighting the best satire on the internet; after receiving praise from the BBC; after all that, I must, upon reading the insightful words of “PenSword”, announce my retirement from the practice altogether.

    It has been a considerable journey, and one that I am proud to say has garnered much praise from those who have read more than one of my posts, but I consider by position to now be untenable in light of the following words: “Laurence would do well to avoid writing satire.”

    It was bad enough to have professors tell me that becoming a published satirist would make a tough career choice, but to now read the prescient words of an admittedly anonymous website user, there is naught left but to give it all up and turn to technical journalism instead.

    I might not be feeling it right now, but I’m sure, that should our paths ever cross, PenSword, I will one day thank you.

    Good day, and thanks to the many hundreds of people who once read my work daily. It was a blast.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Ron Paul actually did just speak at Utah Valley University Oct 18. There were over 4200 people there. Nice try though. http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865564794/Ron-Paul-given-rock-star-treatment-at-UVU.html

  8. Calvin Lee says:

    RonPaul doesn't go to small shops to campaign, not because he doesn't want to but because they don't hold enough people. Ron Paul only speaks at amphitheaters and stadiums and the venues often change the day of to go outside to accomodate an even larger than anticipated audience.

  9. Calvin Lee says:

    I hope you realize this was a satire piece lol.

  10. Ron never actually came to Nebraska on campaign, just to Council Bluffs twice. Saw him both times. Early on there was only a small room of us, maybe 150-200, but the second time there was maybe 1,000.

    Funny satire piece, though.

  11. Brian White says:

    I went to see Ron Paul when he came to Seatac, Washington. It was insane. He had the biggest ballroom in the city (and there are plenty) and by the time I got there (early) it was already backed up out to overfilling the entry-way and staircases all around the area. He definitely stirs up a major crowd… is it time for a new party? The R establishment I don't think will ever warm to him. He's not one of them, in my estimation.

  12. This is so obviously fake. That doesn't sound like Ron Paul in the slightest lol.

  13. This is so obviously fake. That doesn't sound like Ron Paul in the slightest lol.

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