Month: March 2013
Secretary Kerry Denies Arms For Syrian Handicapped
Catholic Priests Terrorize Italy’s Youth
Terror in Italy this morning as hundreds of Catholic priests descend upon the Vatican. Italian Mister of Defense Giampaolo di Paola has imposed a strict curfew and parents are being encouraged to keep their children indoors until the threat has…
Macfarlane Kills Puppy, Steals Grandmother’s Purse after Oscars
Seth Macfarlane, made famous by his comedic take on the American family through a show called The Family Guy, has gone from fame to infamy almost overnight. As recent host of Hollywood’s paramount night, the Academy Awards, Macfarlane made enemies…
FL Governor Scott Concerned Gaping Holes Will Impact Tourism
Republican Gov. Rick Scott expressed concern today that tourist will start avoiding his state to avoid being sucked into a gaping hole. Because he failed to be explicit about which gaping hole he was concerned with, it is unsure if…
Bleach Shortage In Kentucky Making KKK Gray
Drone Spotted Flying Over JFK Traced To NRA
Westboro Baptist Church Plans to Protest Itself
Westboro Baptist Church members will be staying in Topeka, Kansas this Sunday to stage what they are calling their most important protest to date. They are going to be protesting themselves. A statement issued by Westboro leader, Fred Phelps claims…
Spring Break Jokes
With warmer weather approaching and Spring Break right around the corner, Glossy News has decided, against our normal routine, to share some jokes. Normally we structure some sort of premise then jam all the jokes in around it, but sometimes…
Massive Sinkhole Threatens to Rip Florida in Half
Tampa, FL – Mildred and Juan Scoleri were outdoors on their patio surveying the excavation work that the pool company had just finished before laying the foundation for the pool they’ve been saving for ever since Juan was still working…