Category: Politics
5-Bed Neo-Classical for Sale, Prime Penn. Ave Location
Determined to put a dent in the national debt, the House of Representatives has voted to sell the White House. The Senate quickly jumped on debt reduction bandwagon but held out for the less radical idea of simply mortgaging the…
Santorum Endorses Mitt Romney… For Profit
PITTSBURG, PA –GlossyNews Rick Santorum finally threw his support behind presumptive GOPTea™ nominee Mitt Romney, saying to his supporters, “I strongly encouraged Mitt to add me as the Team Conservative Leader, and I am pleased to say that I will…
Obama Defeats Romney in Hollywood Version of 2012 Presidential Election
LOS ANGELES – In a classic Hollywood ending that left audiences cheering and wiping tears from their eyes, President Obama triumphed over his Republican rival Mitt Romney in the 2012 U.S. presidential election, after staging a stunning come-from-behind upset that…
Trump to Host Romney Bacon-Wrapped Foie Gras Dinner Fundraiser
TRUMP TOWER, NYC —GlossyNews The final logistics for “Trump’s Huge Gourmet Dinner to Fund Gov. Romney” have been released. The Donald announced that “on landing at Kennedy the fortunate attendees – the chosen folk – will receive free post-flight ground…
Governor Scott Walker Declares State-Wide Burn Ban Leading Up to Recall Election
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker has officially declared a state-wide emergency burn ban in response to reports that dozens of campaign signs on behalf of the embattled governor are going up in flames. The move, while politically necessary according to sources…
“Men in Suits” determine the future of the GOP
Several suited men are pouring over papers scattered on a desk before them. “So, it comes down to this: The Corporations are deciding on either Gingrich or Santorum to be the Republican representative for the Republican platform in the Presidential…
Pay-per-view Presidential Debates
It is the dark, painful secret of broadcast journalism. Dedicated professionals actually work tirelessly to produce that lowest common denominator pabulum known as ‘mainstream media.’ Insiders admit the fare is about as nutritious as rice cakes dipped in excrement, but…
Gingrich Halted By Month-old Shooting
BATON ROUGE, LA —EBBQ Newt Gingrich hastily called a press conference after appearing on Sean Hannity’s FOXNEWS telecast. He said in opening the sparsely attended 2-reporter conference: “I was completely misquoted in my answer to Sean where he said that…
The Supreme Scrap in Wisconsin
The underside of the dark and dangerous judicial branch was exposed last year when Justice Walsh Bradley accused fellow Justice David Prosser of putting her in a “choke hold” during debate of the constitutionality of the controversial bill eliminating collective…
GOPTea Claims Veep Mittstakes Keep 2012 Election Interesting
BOSTON, Mass. – EBBQ – The range of the GOPTea™ party’s unrolling Veep list rockets from the absurd to the impractical, borders the impossible and suddenly flips back to the absurd — it’s an endless loop. Will we get another…