Tag Archive | "trump"

Donald Trump Reading List: WEAK! (2/2)


Another pathetic loser!

No respect!

We are sick and tired of pretentious idiots!

SAD!

Totalitarian Tenets to be Tenaciously Tendered via Trump Tweet

Donald Trump Dead!

HOT OFF THE PRESS! DONALD TRUMP SEX SCANDAL! (& First Executive Order)

Bin Laden Dead, Trump Demands Long Form Death Certificate

BREAKING NEWS: Obama Caused World War II, According to Trump

Psychiatrists reach Opposite Conclusions about President Trump’s Mental Health

President Trump Trashes Oval Office

Donald Trump Proves Existence of the Multiverse

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Donald Trump Reading List: PATHETIC! (1/2)


Don’t do reading!

Reading makes you stupid and fake!

..

SAD! Read the full story

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Do It Yourself Future News Headlines


If you look at enough different newspapers enough different times you find things can be quite similar.

The rags always seem to be re-circulating the same type of newsworthy cadavers again and again.

The names and the places change, but the content is cloned.

It gets to the point where you can pretty much predict what the ‘new’ news will be about before it even becomes happens.

In fact, one might as well make up his own news- it won’t be that different from the real event! It never stopped our new Glorious Leader! Read the full story

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As Though You Haven’t Seen Enough Trump Trashing Already- Here Are More Trump Memes!!!!!!!!!


Repeat after me:

We got so many memes you’ll be sick of meme-ing.

Read the following memes.

We got so many memes you’ll be sick of meme-ing

Are you bored yet?

We got so many memes you’ll be sick of meme-ing.

 

 

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CNN to Issue Trigger Warnings before Trump Appearances


NEW YORK – CNN today announced its new policy of issuing trigger warnings before showing the face of President Donald Trump to viewing audiences.

“We know the mere mention of President’s Trump name or the sight of his face is enough to trigger serious emotional distress or even seizures in a large part of our viewing audience,” said Wolf Blitzer of CNN. “So we believe that this is an appropriate policy for our time. Families with children will really appreciate this warning, as the mere sight of Trump reportedly makes many babies, small infants, and millennials cry uncontrollably.”

CNN has estimated that millions of viewers have turned off CNN because of their sheer terror that Trump may appear on their screens and further traumatize them with his blunt language, harsh policies, and brutish lack of diplomatic tact.

“Just as we issue warnings before showing bloody, mangled corpses after mass murders or terrorist attacks, so we will issue warnings before showing the face of Donald J. Trump or mentioning his name.”

Read the full story

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Immigration- For Once I Actually Agree With Something Trump Says.


Strange days indeed!- I actually agree with Trump on something.

First off, build that damn wall!!!!!

11 million Hispanics are living illegally in the U.S. and they have the cheek to insist that they are justified in doing so? Wrong! By sneaking across the border they have already shown that they have no respect for our laws by doing so. Are they going to respect the rest of the laws while they are here?

It is said that they are escaping poverty. Yes, but their countries were formed at the same time as ours and have abundant resources. Why are they not economically better off? Is is our fault they are poor?

Somewhat, yesl because we do tend to dominate the policies and the economies in this part of the world.

But a greater share of the reason would be that they have allowed themselves to be dominated by leaders and religions that tend towards repression and by domination by the landowners and the wealthy. Edward Abbey once said that we should send all illegals back to across the border but give them all a gun to cure the corrupt politics back home.

Temporarily restrict travel from seven Muslim countries who tend to have a lot of terrorists? Sounds sane to me! Give us some time to let muddy waters clear so we can make our homeland a little more safe. Quit yelling folks, it is a TEMPORARY ban, not permanent.

I wish as much yelling were made about the poverty in our own country with homelessness and working people not making enough to make the basics of life. The Sioux reservation in South Dakota is still the most poverty stricken district in the U.S. How about helping them to get the jobs that are going to immigrants?

The major reason we let in so many immigrants is that companies and businesses want a cheap source of labor. Remember- a bunch of guys got into the country on student visas and killed over 2,000 people by flying jets into buildings.

The ones shouting the loudest are the immigrants themselves (sorry, this really isn’t your country to begin with. Quit telling us what we are supposed to do with it). And, interestingly the tech industries. Gee, white collar geek guys, you are purposely hiring engineers and computer whizzes from foreign countries that use English as a business language because they will work cheaper than born in the USA people.

And now you are now pretending to be patriotic? It doesn’t fly, folks.

The protests have grown to be embarrassingly knee jerk and empty headed. It is mechanical to just go against everything our pseudo President-select says and does; that makes us just as bad as him. This same energy thrown into helping the ethnic groups already here would do wonders. We don’t need anymore people from elsewhere, at least for a while.

The various crisis’s in various countries are terrible but at some time people need to take care of their own problems. Running over here doesn’t solve them.

Too many think that the U.S., Canada and Europe are Shangri-La’s where everything is all rosy. It isn’t. The immigrants are usually shifted into the poorer neighborhoods where they have to fend for themselves. Their kids often join gangs of their own countrymen for protection and to get some of the financial circulation for themselves.

And how do they have to do it if they have no jobs? You know the answer already- drugs, theft, prostitution.

It used to be once upon a time that people did come over for genuine religious or freedom issues. Now for most it is because they see the U.S. as being one big bank where everyone is wealthy and has no troubles (although compared with some of the countries like Syria it is by comparison).

They want to tap into that bank.

They want a piece of the pie that they didn’t help bake.

We have enough people here already. More than enough.

A Chinese woman I knew managed to get out of mainland China and into Germany by agreeing to work as a computer technician on a stipend with free housing.

She left behind her child and husband to get out because she hated China so much. She did everything she could to stay there. When she mentioned she wouldn’t mind going to America too I told her that we had too many people already.

“No, America has lots of room!” she replied.

It does, if you compare it to China where they let their population explosion get away from them.

Too many times I have experienced foreigners pulling crap in this country. When I go to other countries I make it a point to be respectful and civil with the people there; a sentiment unfortunately ignored by many Americans I have seen go overseas. Many who come here see us as being fools or stupid and show no respect or regard what-so-ever.

Here are some examples I’ve experienced personally here in my own country to name just a few:

1. Being threatened by a large British man because he didn’t like it that I forbid alcohol consumption in a hostel I was running and didn’t let people run around wild like he thought I should.

2. At same hostel got punched in the eye by an anarchistic German who I was kicking out for being a jerk and suffered permanent eye damage.

3. Having a very pregnant illegal Hispanic woman ask me if I wanted to get married while I was working in her house. Turns out her relatives had put her up to it. If I would make a fake marriage with her she could get benefits. The real father had run out on her.

4. Had an Irish roommate here on a holiday visa but was working illegally marry an American just so he could get citizenship and the right to work. I actually got him a job (now I know better) and the boss started paying him and an illegal Aussie more than me. The Aussie still wanted to strike for more money even though he was illegal.

5, Had a big Swiss Hotel General Manager who had the swagger and character of a combination Teutonic Nazi, a white supremacist and a Mafia boss who would be physically and verbally intimidating, was racist and looked down on everyone. Why do we let these people into the country in the first place? He ended up choking on his own karma.

When doing construction work I was often put in charge of guiding the Hispanics, probably half of them illegal. I would always treat them well and try to communicate with them with what Spanish I knew. Then came the day when there was a foreman who was a Hispanic immigrant who had worked his way up. Suddenly they were treating me like crap because I was the minority. IN MY OWN COUNTRY! It was a wakening call for me.

Had a Hispanic gas station worker tell me there wasn’t any work there even though there was a sign up in the window. He was saving the job for one of his buddies.

Even that highly enlightened Comedy Central personality Carlo Mendez had an interview on his show asking a Hispanic guy at a work site if he would feel bad taking a job from an American. “Hell no!” he answered both laughing heartily about it.

Build that wall! We have enough people in this country to do the work we need done already. And we can be compassionate with the people who are here already; there are definitely enough of them.

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Top Stories in The News – Alternative Facts Edition


[The following news summary has been approved by the White House Ministry of Clarifying Communications and Truthful Facts, the greatest, most truthlike communications ministry in American history.]

Contrary to the endless lies propagated by fake news sources like CNN, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, CBS, NBC, ABC, NPR, and 500 other America-hating, fake media sources, the news lately has been amazingly great. Here’s a summary of the incredibly positive top stories from the past week.

President Trump signed an Executive Order (EO) to override the Circuit Court of Appeals’ unanimous verdict, which had falsely claimed that his Muslim travel ban was a Muslim travel ban and thus unconstitutional and illegal. Trump’s EO officially bans all federal courts that disagree with any of his EOs because his awesome presidential constitutional authority is bigger than the courts’.

President Trump had an amazingly successful first phone call with Queen Margrethe II of Denmark. In a seven-minute call originally scheduled for an hour, the Queen gushed about her adoration for America’s new president and pledged her full submission, we mean, full cooperation to ensure strong diplomatic relations. And if the Danish ambassador says Trump called the Queen a b*tch when she refused to let Trump deport all our Muslims to Denmark, the ambassador’s a lying, whining loser whose wife is a 4 at best.

Read the full story

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Trump Orders Obama’s Presidency be stricken from the Historical Record


Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C. (Crazy Town)–President Trump signed an executive order, commanding that every sign be erased, that Barack Obama had been president.

Trump ordered the military to destroy everything from stamps bearing Obama’s facial likeness, to news recordings of Obama’s speeches, to political cartoons about Obama.

The President added that anyone caught saying that an African-American was ever president of the United States would be sued personally by him.

“Repealing Obamacare is only a stepping stone,” said Trump’s spokesperson, Kellyanne Conway. “Talk about alternative facts! You liberals in the media actually think an African-American was president for eight years. But show me the evidence he was ever in office, once we’ve finished tossing that evidence into the memory hole.”

According to Democratic Senator Lillian Lillyliver, “You see, Republicans erred in attempting to tar Obama by informally naming the Affordable Care Act after him. Now they have to deal with the mess of trying to repeal and replace it, just because that healthcare bill is associated with Obama’s name, since Republicans evidently want no memory to survive that Obama had ever been president.”

Asked why she thinks Republicans are so opposed to that memory, Lillyliver said, “Methinks it’s because Obama’s as black as Trump’s heart.”

“President Trump seems to be taking a page from the pharaohs,” said Egyptologist Manuel Mysterioso. “If a pharaoh wanted to destroy his predecessor’s legacy, he obliterated every trace of it, by chiseling the former pharaoh’s face from relief sculptures, for example. And so future generations would forget that that detested pharaoh had ever lived. The belief was that our spirit resides in some physical form so that if you destroy the form, the spirit–and thus the intangible memory–dissipates.”

“It’s a case of ‘Hear no evil, see no evil,’” said one political analyst. “You know: out of sight, out of mind. If you don’t have to be reminded that something awful happened, you can pretend it never did. Why it matters whether a neoliberal president like Obama has light or dark skin is anyone’s guess. That’s a matter for a psychotherapist. I mean, Obama bent over backward a thousand times to accommodate the insanity from the far right. And the Republicans deliberately stonewalled him from the get-go to prevent the public from forming the conviction that a civil, democratic government can function as an alternative social arrangement to a capitalistic marketplace.”

“I’ve already forgotten who was president before me,” said Trump. “You say it was a ‘man of colour.’ Does that mean he was just someone other than an invisible man, someone who wasn’t colourless?” After the euphemism “person of colour” was explained to Trump, the president said, “Oh, so he was black, you say, an African American. I see no evidence there was any such person who used to sleep in my bed.

“In fact, the very notion that there are people with non-white skin seems farfetched to me. I’ve never seen these dark-skinned people you speak of. Is this like the myth that there are hordes of non-millionaires and non-billionaires polluting the earth? Where are all these losers supposed to be hiding? My Cabinet’s composed mostly of millionaires and billionaires, because there’s no one else in my world. And how can I step outside my world and still be me?”

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WARNING: You may already be exposed to T.R.U.M.P. Disorder


Over the past 18 months a previously unknown but highly dangerous psychiatric disorder has spread across the entire United States. It is now considered by medical experts to be our nation’s most nefarious mental health problem. This malady’s scientific name is Tolerance of Racist, Unbalanced, Misogynistic Predators Disorder. But it’s more commonly known by its acronym, T.R.U.M.P.

People exposed to T.R.U.M.P. lose the ability to maintain clear, rational thinking and are unable to tell fake news from real. Scientists have discovered that T.R.U.M.P. tends to target less educated and lower income individuals. Blue collar workers concentrated in white, rural communities seem to be particularly vulnerable to this disorder. Read the full story

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A Country Gets The Leaders It Deserves


A Country Gets The Leaders It Deserves
An unfunny article-

There is an old saying that “a country gets the leaders it deserves.”

So what does that say about the United States and the choices it has made of late?

It says that we are now a superficial, gullible people, recognizing only projected and imagined qualities in a person. We are so in need of a hero in a land where self interest is the strongest passion that we imagine heroes where there is really only mundaneness. Read the full story

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Trump’s List Of Things To Do On His First Day In Office.


Trump’s List Of Thing To Do On His First Day In Office.

Have Hillary and Bill ‘mysteriously’ disappear.

Finalize deal with Putin on co-overseeing Russia’s oil industry. Read the full story

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The Machiavellian Guide To Becoming President


The Machiavellian Guide To Becoming President
(as channeled from the nether worlds to his humble servants Donald Trump and rfreed)

Note to the historically impaired – Niccolò Machiavelli was a 15th century historian, writer and politician who emphasized using the Dark Side of the Force when ruling. Rumor has it that President Select Donald Trump keeps a copy of his book ‘The Prince’ at his beside to ponder over when he is finished with his Tweets for the night. Read the full story

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Trump Comes Clean on Golden Showers


“Honest to Gtrumpgoofyod, I thought those bitches peed gold!”

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President Trump Confined to White House, Refusing to take Revolving Door


Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.–After much legal wrangling, President-elect Donald Trump and his children, Ivanka, Eric and Donald Jr. divested themselves of their holdings in the Trump Organization and in Trump’s dozens of other companies so that they could carry out their duties as president and as top advisors without the taint of blatant conflicts of interest. But after their term in office, they found it impossible to physically leave the White House, because they refused to use any of the hundreds of revolving doors back to the private sector, these being the only doors leading out of the building. Read the full story

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Trump Shakes Things Up with Bold Cabinet Appointments


Donald Trump has wasted no time putting his signature on his new administration. In what some critics are calling a scarily bad case of Opposite Day, President-Elect Trump so far has chosen an Education Secretary who has never held any position in public education, a HUD Secretary with no previous experience dealing with public housing, a Secretary of State with no history in international diplomacy, and an EPA Head who believes climate change is a myth.

In a similarly bold fashion, Trump’s latest Cabinet appointments are sure to win praise from supporters hopeful that he will turn back the clock (to 1953) and destroy unnecessary, wasteful government programs like Obamacare, banking regulation, Social Security and the environment. Read the full story

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Who Needs Real News When Fake News Is Way More Fun! (It never stopped Fox News or Donald Trump!)


Fake News Fer Sale! Git Yer Fake News Right Here!

Suddenly fake news stories are the In Thing and do we have ’em here for you!

Get in on the latest fad and power trip going- fake news stories! Amaze your friends! Harass your enemies! Embarrass your mom!
We have them for you here in all shapes and sizes. And all political, ethnic, social and gender variations.

Need a story to make Trump look like a hero- got ’em right here for ya!

Need a tale that makes him look like a chump? Got that too. Read the full story

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