Tag Archive | "poetry"

Poetry About, and Poetry By


Tomorrow, we’ve got a great treat for you!

Stalwart Glossy News contributor rfreed has some Sarah Palin poems.

Have you ever thought about writing in the persona of someone else?

For satire, it’s one thing to write poems about someone.

But you can also write humorously in someone else’s (entirely fictionalized voice).

There are so many opportunities for this.

You can be Trump, and complain about how the pure evil bought & paid liberal MSM just burnt your toast and made sure you can’t get a mistress.

You can be the ISIS caliph, and sing the blues about how misunderstood you are, and show everyone your true gentle, sensitive soul of a poet.

You can be Putin, clarifying what you were doing in the bar in Moscow late 3 am when rumors started circulating. Nooooooo no drama! No-no-no-drama, drama!

But this is also a time-honored art form.

The scholar Benjamin Jowett taught at Oxford in the 19th century. The naughty rhyme ran as follows:

Here come I, my name is Jowett.
All there is to know I know it.
I am Master of this College,
What I don’t know isn’t knowledge!

So there you go!

What other examples of this kind of writing do you know?

What funny (or otherwise interesting) ‘poetry for’ do you know, and how does it stack up against the ‘poetry about’ the same figure?

And do you have some of your own?

Feel free to comment below; but if you want us to publish anything, please email wallacerunnymede@gmail.com

Thanks, and we hope some of you will have some great ideas!

Wallace

 

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LAST DAY OF MY JANUARY BOOK SALE!


Today is your last chance to get the 1st eds of my CreateSpace print books, available both at the CreateSpace store and at all Amazon stores globally.

These 1st editions are being phased out after today; in favor of 2nd editions, which will be available in February. So, they are at the lowest price I was permitted to sell them at!

The CreateSpace store gives the best royalties; but Amazon more convenient for many buyers, who don’t have an Amazon account.

My two poetry volumes, Alpine Chanter I The Braying Angel)

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=the+braying+angel+createspace&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Athe+braying+angel+createspace

https://www.createspace.com/pub/simplesitesearch.search.do?sitesearch_query=the+braying+angel+wallace&sitesearch_type=STORE

& II (Foaming the Optics)

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=foaming+the+optics&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Afoaming+the+optics

https://www.createspace.com/pub/simplesitesearch.search.do?sitesearch_query=foaming+the+optics&sitesearch_type=STORE

have regular print, large print, and giant print.

The other two books are regular print only: Graveyard of the Pieties & The Great Flâneur Narrative.

Happy reading! More news soon on the 2nd editions.

 

 

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Christmas Presents: Poetry, Fiction, & Satire Books! (2/2)


Fatal Conceits Short Fiction Series (Vol I)

Pride and Idiocy

Read the full story

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Christmas Presents: Poetry, Fiction, & Satire Books! (1/2)


Amazon stores globally sell many of my ebooks! A selection of my ebooks sometimes a print version; or even a larger print or giant print version, in addition to the regular sizes!

https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_2?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=wallace+runnymede

Please note that all the books in the above link are mine; except for ‘Valiant, He Endured,’ which is a libertarian sci-fi anthology edited by the prolific author and editor George Donnelly. Read the full story

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The Socialist Shirkers Party


NOTE FROM WALLACE: 

Thanks to M.C. Newberry for permitting republication of his poem as a guest post here at Glossy News!

***

You’ll find them among most types of mob

With shuttered mind and open gob.

You’d be forgiven for wondering what they do for a living

When they prefer to be taking rather than giving. Read the full story

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Ebook Update: Ivory Tower Satire, & a Bit of Poetry!


Two more satire ebooks are coming out on May 31. Pre-order now!

Firstly:

Professor Smiggles & The New Intellectual Warfare (Gang of Sneers Volume 2)
https://www.amazon.com/Professor-Smiggles-Intellectual-Warfare-Sneers-ebook/dp/B01F6CEBI8/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1463842433&sr=8-4&keywords=wallace+runnymede
Yes, this is a series! For Gang of Sneers Volume 1, see our cuddly old UKIP ranter, Tarquin Binnett:
https://www.amazon.com/Tarquin-Binnetts-Englishmans-Common-Jamboree-ebook/dp/B01E4KJA5M

Professor Guru Angus Lenn(on/in)vedanta Smiggles of the Social Constructionist String Theory Department in Bushmills Metaphysical College cuts quite a dashing figure. This pompous intellectual knows well enough how to bamboozle myriad uneducated and uncultivated hoodlums: such as vicious Confederate collectivists, genially whimsical UKIP candidates, gutter tabloid hacks, and sexually frustrated campus liberation crusaders.

But after a few episodes of crisp and generous dismissal, the good Professor fades from view, and two rather disturbing fairy tales present a more disconcerting picture. London’s new addition to the crowded market of postmodern soap operas, and the unhappy tale of un-un-reconstructionism end the witty Parisian proceedings on a rather poignant and dispiriting note.

This second volume of Gang of Sneers also includes the book Wallace Runnymede & The Great Flâneur Massacre: Reflections In & Out of Season. The latter is a reflexive non-fiction work which was originally published separately as an accompaniment to my novella The Great Flâneur Massacre, which is now being re-released on May 31 2016, simultaneously with Professor Smiggles & the New Intellectual Warfare.

Read the full story

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Amazon Ebooks: Dark & Surreal Poetry Out Already… Intriguing Fiction to Follow, April 11!


I just mentioned an hour ago that I was branching out into publishing on Amazon. I am still publishing the Wallace Runnymede Satire Catastrophe free ebook series via Draft2Digital (Tolino, iBooks, Kobo, 24 Symbols, Nook, Page Foundry, Scribd); and I am still serializing these ebooks at the Satire Catastrophes site. But what about my Amazon ebooks?

Here is the first ebook I have ever released on Amazon.

Foaming the Optics: Poems Against Patriarchy, Poems Against Neuriarchy

If you think this is a very PC concept for a poetry ebook, you are wildly mistaken.

And I, by fairly obvious contrast, am wildly correct.

Or, at least, wildly contrarian... Read the full story

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Declassified Letters Reveal Bin Laden A Truly Beautiful, Gifted Writer


WASHINGTON D.C. – A collection of declassified letters written by the late al Qaeda leader, Osama bin Laden, has revealed that the mastermind behind the September 11 attacks was a surprisingly beautiful and disciplined writer.

According to researchers at the US Military Academy, bin Laden, who was killed in a U.S. operation in Pakistan last May, displayed surprisingly intricate transitional development and advanced grammatical understanding throughout the 175-page cache seized by military forces during the raid on the Abbottabad compound. Read the full story

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You Fancy Yourself a Poet, Eh? (comic)


Poets are bad enough, but the self-proclaimed poets are even worse still. Sometimes you want to challenge them, see if they’ve really got what it takes.

Well this nay-sayer does just that with, well, unexpected results.

I guess the full-on war against poetry will have to wait until next year. Read the full story

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Your Very Wrong on so Many Levels Horoscopes


Aries: The Stars understand and sympathize with your plan to move to either Amsterdam or Berlin where you feel people with your particular, shall we say interests are better accepted.

However, The Stars have to warn you that even the residents of those two bastions of tolerance are going to look at what you’re into and say, “man, that’s fucked up”. Read the full story

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U.S. Senate Bursts into Spontaneous Verse


The Senate unexpectedly and unintentionally bursts into verse this morning as the legislators were conducting their routine opening procedures. The following is the official Congressional transcript of this incident.

CONGRESSIONAL RECORD

PROCEEDINGS AND DEBATES OF THE 112TH CONGRESS, SECOND SESSION

WASHINGTON, TUESDAY, JUNE 24 2012

SENATE

MORNING BUSINESS

The Senate met at 10 a.m. and was called to order by THE PRESIDENT PRO TEMPORE. Read the full story

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Making of a Prose Poem: Staggeringly Blasé Reviews


A young, aimless writer. A format no one cared about. The words everyone has to look up in an online dictionary. If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to be an unknown poet, this is the poem you need to ignore. Critics are raving about the new prose poem that everyone is calling the most boring event of the year. Read the full story

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Bob Dylan Offers Help to a Mixed Up World: World Indifferent


GARY, Indiana, (GlossyNews) — Sixties icon Bob Dylan appeared, in all of his monochromatic splendor, at the National Press Club this week, announcing a new chapter in what’s already been an amazing career. Said the legendary balladeer, whom some consider the American version of Carl Sandburg, “Iben woando sum further you in furlong tom.” Read the full story

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True Love, Romance or Just Plain Sex… What’s It All Mean?


Although “falling in love” is probably the most wonderful feeling in the world and the most mysterious state of mind one can find him/herself within, science tells us that “falling in love” is very transient and not the answer to most of a person’s problems. There is no “happily-ever-after” fairy-tales in real life, say the social scientists who study this phenomenon. The (informal) definition of “true love” in Western Societies really only refers to one thing: strong and passionate feeling that consumes both partners in “a strong romantic (or sexual), mutual feeling,” which is scientifically and empirically short-lived. Read the full story

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Twelve Days of Christmas — The Ghost of Christmas Present


On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Twelve court subpoenas,
Eleven texts saying ‘ph*ck you’,
Ten bailiffs with repossession orders,
Nine blokes to cut the gas off,
Eight maids with paternity claims,
Seven photos of her toy boys, Read the full story

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