Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer Pharmaceutical claims they have developed a more potent placebo that has been proven to work better in controlled experiments than other doctor prescribed placebos.

“Our placebo has a foul taste and smell”, said Pfizer representative Peter Gruber. “Also, our placebo is more expensive than most other placebos. Read the full story

After two decades of work, doctors and medical researchers in the United States believe they have evidence that abnormally low levels of serotonin — a chemical in the brain that helps control breathing during sleep — plays a pivotal role in causing sudden infant death syndrome. This discovery completely flies in the face of conventional wisdom, which has attributed the unexplained death of otherwise healthy infants to attacks by the Mesopotamian storm demon, Lilith. Read the full story

Honolulu, HI (GlossyNews) — Acerbic Conservative talk show host Rush Limbaugh was rushed to a Honolulu hospital this morning for what doctors say is an overload of ‘bile’.

Limbaugh’s press spokesman Carson Cobain said he had little information. “Rush usually takes off this time of year to beef up for the coming season. All I know is he’s in the hospital and it doesn’t look good. Luckily Rush can afford the best treatment in the world. He’d be screwed if he worked for Wal Mart.” Read the full story