Researchers Discover why Republicans are Evil and Democrats are Cowards

Dateline: MIT—With the election of Donald Trump as president, Republicans have chosen to wear their evil on their sleeves, although the GOP’s social Darwinism, warmongering and shameless, hypocritical idolatry have been palpable since Ronald Reagan created his bizarre coalition of libertarians and evangelical Christians.
Read more Researchers Discover why Republicans are Evil and Democrats are Cowards


Chapter 27: Everyone Has a Choice to Right (Honest Adolph, Volume III)

Deborah was disappointed to learn that the media were turning their turrets on Adolph. Now that their golden boy had left, they seemed to have little interest in ridiculing Benny Pilder; Honest Adolph, previously known only as a ‘fringe maverick,’ was now consistently demonised day in, day out.
The quality of the commentary never seemed to get any better; nor did it seem to deteriorate. For reasons Deborah could never quite discern, Adolph was hated even more than Benny Pilder. Deborah had already begun to entertain the possibility that all this wall-to-wall on message demonisation might actually boost Adolph, because reverse psychology is often a deeply disruptive force in nomination campaigns; not to mention the actual election itself! However, she was still unsure. ‘A nomination is not an election, and an election is not a nomination,’ she muttered to herself; over, and over, and over, and over, again.
One thing that was striking about the media coverage was its radical inconsistency.
On the one hand, Pilder had flippantly referred to Adams as a ‘strong leader in a tight spot.’ The media then mentioned that the debate had happened shortly after Holocaust Memorial Day, and that because Adams did not descend into campus ‘call out’ culture and note the tastelessly demeaning character of the slur, he had acted weakly, and that Adams’ discretion and civility were not really discretion and civility at all, but merely a tacit way of condoning or excusing Pilder’s crass and vulgar comment.


GOP Disapproval at Record High, Dems Frantic to Figure Out New Losing Strategy

Congress holds record low approval ratings, but none more so than the Republicans, and none more among them than the Trump-aligned representatives. With an obvious distaste for these levels of corruption, Democrats are furiously scrambling to find new ways to lose the next election. Read more GOP Disapproval at Record High, Dems Frantic to Figure Out New Losing Strategy


Bill O’Reilly’s “Blue Sky Denialism” Controversy

Democratic politician Barney Frank may be retired now, but he’s still enjoying (as much as ever!) the witty repartee and genial jousting in the Fox News studio.
Yup! A Bill O’Reilly clip has just gone viral, where the Fox commentator reduces Barney to abject bemusement regarding Frank’s far-left socialist-welfarist-eco-freakian “Big Lie” about the sky being blue. Read more Bill O’Reilly’s “Blue Sky Denialism” Controversy


Award Winning Dick Feted in California

Jerry Brown, the aging governor of California, addressed a special session of the state legislature yesterday to nominate Dick Blum, the husband of Senator Dianne Feinstein, to receive this year’s prestigious Charles Crocker Award. Crocker is the well-known Robber Baron from the golden days of the trans-continental railroad. In his remarks, Brown said “Like Charles Crocker before him, Mr. Blum has inspired us all by not allowing himself to be sidetracked by even the most egregious criticisms and name calling.” Governor Brown was referring to the persistent charges of nepotism, corruption and outright thievery after Mr. Blum was given the contract for constructing the long awaited Bullet Train. Read more Award Winning Dick Feted in California


Entire International Community Fits/Meets Inside Tiny Beltway Café

Recently, the entire International Community™ met together in a miniscule Beltway Café in Washington.

Obviously, this vast group agreed unanimously and without exception concerning all the Matters of Grave Common Concern™ that are of importance to Our Common Humanity.™

And, needless to say, they conclusively resolved all of the pressing issues that are of crucial importance to sustaining our current and eternal Flourishing, Democratic Global Order of Mutual Prosperity.™

Still, the café owner was initially wary of this most inestimable privilege. Read more Entire International Community Fits/Meets Inside Tiny Beltway Café