Search Results for: obama
Famous Americans Share Thanksgiving Messages of Gratitude
Glossy News interviewed famous Americans this past week, asking them “What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving season?” Here is a holiday gift basket of inspirational messages from some of our nation’s most illustrious, America-loving Americans. Ann Romney, wife of…
Karl Rove Meets His Dark Karma in a Filthy Washington Alley
Karl Rove, weasel extraordinaire and famous shill for the Republican Party, was found unconscious, beaten half to death and left lying in a Washington alley early this morning. Surveillance tapes retrieved from security cameras around the neighborhood revealed a most…
Conservatives Enter Welcomed Death Spiral on Benghazi
Conservatives really want to make a big deal out of this, but it just isn’t. They can’t understand why nobody cares, but nobody does, and it’s because embassies are safer under Obama than Bush. You want answers, right? This is…
Tea Party Member Breaks Ranks and Votes for Self-interest
In a surprising move, Tea Party member Wright Wing admitted that he decided to break ranks and vote for Barack Obama for president. “Believe me, I had no intention of voting for Obama,” said Mr. Wing. “But when I sat…
Open Letter to House Republicans; It’s Time to Compromise
Listen guys, you still govern us, so I’m counting on you. No, We The American People are counting on you. We need real reform, and your party is in the position of power that can make that happen, so we…
Election 2012 Over; Will Lessons Learned Fade as Quickly as the Scars?
The 2012 elections were stressful and trying for those on both sides of the political spectrum, but it’s easy to see why nobody had it worse than Brian K. White, the editor of Glossy News. After all, I did have…
Sign the Petition to Create a Single-Payer Healthcare System
Glossy News editor Brian K. White has create a petition to the White House to create a single-payer healthcare system. Please take a moment to sign it. UPDATE 11/17/12: Behold the power of GlossyNews.com… the petition reached the signature threshold…
Romney Denies He’s a Crybaby
Defeated Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney denies he is a crybaby. “Yes, I lost the election,” said Romney. “But there are reasons why I lost, many of them relating to the gifts Obama gave to blacks, Hispanics and young people…
Republicans Religious Epiphany After Election “God Wants Us to be Bi-Partisan”
Republicans have been almost unanimous in quoting that a Divine inspiration has descended upon them. Apparently this heavenly apparition was bestowed upon their golden leader, John Boehner. Mr. Boehner, his eyes glowing with enlightened envisionment, has come forth upon his…
Republicans Wish Democrats Would Stop Smiling
WASHINGTON – With the 2012 U.S. election now nearly a week old, Republican politicians are beginning to wonder how long it will take for their Democratic rivals to wipe the shit-eating grins off their faces and return to normal. “It…