In a surprising move, Tea Party member Wright Wing admitted that he decided to break ranks and vote for Barack Obama for president.
“Believe me, I had no intention of voting for Obama,” said Mr. Wing. “But when I sat down and actually read the campaign literature from both sides, I realized that voting Democratic was in my best interests.”
Like most Tea Partiers, Wing had previously relied on his gut instinct and advice from supposedly reliable sources like Rush Limbaugh and the Koch Brothers.
“They told me Obama was a socialist and a danger to the country,” said Wing. “And I took them at their word but I didn’t realize until reading the party platforms that Obama was going to lower my taxes and make the rich pay. That sounds pretty reasonable to me.”
Mr. Wing also discovered that Obamacare was not some evil communistic plot but a reasonable plan to provide all Americans with health care coverage.
“Jeesh, I thought it was some crazy plan with exorbitant costs and death panels,” said Wing. “Nobody told me that it was a straightforward health plan that would cover me even if I had a pre-existing condition like willful blindness or terminal ignorance.”
Sadly for Mr. Wright, his revelation and conversion did not come without a cost. His fellow Tea Partiers have tarred and feathered him and run him out of town. Worse yet, they branded his chest with a large “L” for liberal.
“We can’t have people thinking for themselves,” said Tea Party member Noel Brainer. “After all, that would mean the end of our party.”