US and China in Nylon Trade War, Chocolate May Be Next
Recycling Rules: Bin Bureaucracy
UK householders could be fined millions of pounds and face up to five years in one of Her Majesty’s overcrowded ‘sodomite paradise’ prisons if they throw food scraps and potato peelings into their wheelie bins under the EU’s draconic new…
UK Freedom of Speech Suspended
A leading UK gutter press tabloid, the Daily Shitraker, has been barred from reporting parliamentary proceedings on legal grounds which appear to call into question privileges guaranteeing free speech established under the centuries-old 1688 Bill of Rights. Yesterday’s House of…
UFO Attacks X-Files Wind Farm
Enthusiasts from the UFO organisation 13th Planet are claiming the massive damage to a Smegmashire wind farm turbine was caused by a mystery alien spacecraft from the planet Nibiru. One of the 300 foot high turbines at Doggers Clough lost…
Tomcat Registered as Hypnotherapist
While the age-old adage of “Even a cat can look at a King” might now be clichéd and threadbare the regulation of Nation Health Service medical staff – specifically qualified hypnotherapists – in the UK is so slipshod that even…
New Rules of the Road Deride F’ers & A-Clowns
Once upon a very long time ago there was “comic strip” called “There Oughta Be a Law”. The basic premise of this split panel strip was to show common annoyances in every day life and offer humorous solutions. Since I…
EU Gets “Ruff” as Pets Banned from Barkin’ Parks
In what community critics across the UK are calling the most stupid idea to be thought up since the last stupid idea was thought up, borough councils in England and Wales have used their draconic new EU powers to ban…
Whitney Houston Non-Story Dominates Non-News Networks
If you thought there was anything to see here folks, you were mistaken and left to image your wives just a tad darker.
TV Execs “Shocked” Balloon Dad Unstable
After months, nay years of insane ramblings, lost lawsuits and 911 calls, father Richard “the dick” Heene has been deemed a toxic asset by the Hollywood Reality Productionati. A 23 year old executive from E! told Glossy News, “Dude, seriously,…
Kid’s Balloon Stunt Mobilizes Entire Nation
A six-year-old boy thought to have been carried away by a helium-filled weather balloon in Colorado was in fact hiding in the kitchen fridge – behind the remains of last Thanksgiving’s Day turkey, a Dorksborough County deputy informed Fux News….