Ask Hank: All Your Philosophically Sexual Questions Answered
OK Hank, Here are a couple philosophical questions for your amusement. Why do men and women have two hands? If the Universe is expanding like my waistline, why does the content of my wallet not do the same? Why do…
Microsoft Opens “E-Gates” On Mexico / US Border, Windows Unavailable
Laredo, TX – Returning from a recent business conference on immigration in Mexico City, Microsoft Chairman William Gates, the world’s richest man, flew over what will become the new “RioGrande BushWall” near Laredo, Texas. Having told reporters in Mexico earlier,…
Secessionists Pass out Own Survey to Tea Party Attendees
A South Carolina independent rag known as the Secessionist News developed a Survey entitled “Where Do You Stand as a True American?” They hope it will be picked up and answered by lots of Tea Party Convention delegates in an…
Tips on Keeping Your Job in a Sucky Economy
Well I am still employed! So things can’t be too bad. Every day while having my coffee and donuts, I read about massive layoffs and wonder if the ax will ever fall over here. So today I am going to…
Important Tips For Tax Deductions (Regardless of What Your Brother-In-Law Says)
Alcatraz, CA – Thinking about deducting those drinks that you had Friday night as a business expense? You are not alone. Looking for some last minute tax deductions? Well, we can’t help you, but we do have some tips on…
Fox Employee Threatens Suit over Roger Ailes’ Excessive Flatulence
A former Fox News employee is threatening to file a lawsuit in New York District Court against News Corp, the parent company of Fox News Channel, and Fox News President, Roger Ailes, claiming that she was wrongfully terminated when she…
Robertson Hospitalized with Mysterious ‘Sharp Pains’
Programming ceased today at the popular 700 Club network, as Pat Robertson was rushed to the hospital. The 79 year old televangelist complained of “like needles sticking in me all over, particularly in the crotch area.” The attack came as…
Important Convention Announcement by Tea Party Nation
Richmond, VA – As many of you may already know, due to circumstances not entirely out of our control, many of our original sponsors have pulled their support from the first National Tea Party Convention scheduled to take place on…
National Tea Party Convention Takes on Carnival Atmosphere
Due to waning Interest, the National Tea Party Convention has switched focus. It will now be called the National Tea Party Convention and Great American Gun & Knife Show. Tickets purchased for the Tea Party Convention will not be refunded…
GM Introducing Biodegradable Cars
Detroit, Mich. (GlossyNews): General Motors Corporation announced today the release of a line of high-tech vehicles designed to meet the demands of environmentally conscious consumers, as well as the new federal green-technologies regulations. According to a company spokesman, “The new…