Search Results for: washington
Mama Grizzly Sarah Palin Is Running for Congress (“Ya betcha I’ll win,” ex-Alaska governor says as she lays out her platform)
Hiya Folks!–Mama Grizzly Sarah Palin comin’ at ya from my hometown of Wasilla in the great state of Alaska. Case ya’all didn’t hear, I’m runnin’ for the U.S. Congress to wipe out those Libs and Commies ruinin’ our country. And I…
Trump Claims “Afternoon Delights” Alibi
Washington, DC (AP). Under attack for the missing White House call logs, former President Donald Trump said, “there are no call logs because there were simply no calls made during that time period! You guys can make all the stink you want…
Majorie Taylor Green (MJT) and her Lover Accused of Bestiality
Washington, DC (AP). In an article published in the Journal of Animal Ethics (JAE), MJT and her veterinarian lover have been accused of being “bestophiles.” Reminiscent of the “compromat” speculation surrounding Donald Trump’s toady like support and bromance with Vladimir Putin, similar allegations are…
Taking Stadium Naming Rights in Vain: Can We Outdo L.A.’s The Crypt?
Staples Center in L.A. was bad enough, but now Angelinos have “The Crypt” to go to with this week’s announcement that the home of the Lakers and Clippers will be renamed the Crypto.com Arena. Bad stadium and arena names, mostly…
BIDEN NIXES $2000 STIMULUS
CHECKS; TELLS CONCERNED
AMERICANS TO BUY
DOGECOIN
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A couple weeks into a new administration, we’ve already had some sweeping changes take place in our nation’s capital. Since being sworn in as the 46th President of the United States, Joe Biden has been quite busy….
I am Ralphie. I Apologize for Rioting.
By Ralph “Ralphie” Parker, By now multiple videos of me during the recent riots have been widely viewed on the internet. I feel that it’s necessary to apologize to my family and friends, and my fans, who know me only…
Ivanka Trump Launches ‘Vanka’s Pop-Up Elite Ultra-Right Insurrection
Club’
While ex-president and self-declared greatest man that ever lived, DonaldTrump, sulks and skulks in his palatial Florida mansion, his favourite wife /daughter, Ivanka, has yet again astounded the world with her insatiable greed.Her ability to prize cash from the super-rich…
Trump Uses Taxpayer’s Money to Pay for His Latest Portrait
It was revealed today that the outgoing self-proclaimed greatest ever American president, Donald Trump, has spent $2bn of US taxpayers’ money on a portrait of himself. The portrait was commissioned yesterday evening and was completed within fifteen minutes by New…
Holiday Bowl Games: Movie Teams vs. TV Series Teams — A Gambler’s Guide to Possible Matchups
ESPN’s debating holiday bowl destinations for college football teams, but I, Tim the Tout, have the more interesting lines. The NCAA approved a television contingency, readied if Covid-19 surges so holiday bowls can’t field actual teams. Already, a number of…
Biden Inauguration Shocker – Harris to Attend Dressed as Darth Vader
The world is still reeling from the news that President Elect Joe Biden plans to ride a lion to his inauguration ceremony in January 2021, and that the ex-circus beast will be fitted with a latex mask of Donald Trump’s…