Archive | Politics

Medvedev’s Russia a Business Basket Case

Medvedev’s Russia a Business Basket Case

The once-proud and imperial Russian realm of the corrupt and inept Tsars has now turned into a “criminal state”, according to a top UK financial whiz and investor who until recently did business with the country’s leading criminals.

Ghengis McTwatte CEO of the Scandalsky Capital group was reacting to the news that his lawyer had died in prison in Russia after nailing his own head and pelvis to the cell door – an act described by one warden as the most determined case of suicide he had ever witnessed. Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Politics0 Comments

US First Lady Tops Google Porno’ Search

US First Lady Tops Google Porno’ Search

Google has issued a provisory apology to the White House regarding a controversial photograph of Michelle Obama – which certain prudish official and media sources – including the Rednecks Gazette, the KKK Monthly, the Jesus Crust Church of Latter Day Bakers and Playboy’s Amish edition columnists – have labelled ‘racially offensive and pornographic’ – that appears at the top of the browser list when net users search for images of the US First Lady. Continue Reading

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Mandelson McScandalson’s (Pathetic Excuse for?) Last Stand

Mandelson McScandalson’s (Pathetic Excuse for?) Last Stand

Gordon ‘Incapability’ Brown is getting lambasted by demands to have a bit of a Cabinet reshuffle and make the current incumbernt Foreign Secretary, David Millipede, Chief Tea wallah while elevating Business Sec’ Lord Peter Scandalson to the vacated post in a pot-boiling row that risks tearing apart his already rag-tag government of political losers and last ditch wannabe’s. Continue Reading

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Zambia’s Political ‘Porno’ Pantomime

Zambia’s Political ‘Porno’ Pantomime

The topsy-turvy world of African patronage politics and the executive rule of law have just received not only a good shake up but a sound and square kick in the proverbial goolies – with Zambian President Rupiah Jaffacake being equally ridiculed as a total moron and castigated as a slack-arsed administrative failure of the Nth Degree by every jackhole and his dog – both at home and abroad. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Politics0 Comments

Christmas Caroling Obviously Banned as “Offensive”

Christmas Caroling Obviously Banned as “Offensive”

Oh yes, Christmas is coming, just around the corner in fact. The Festive Season of Peace on Earth and Good Will to all Men.

So, are we all prepared for an evening’s visit from our local Church group’s carol singers? Mince pies and mulled wine at the ready, along with a handful of shiny silver coins for the collection tin?

Er – actually no – the Spirit of Xmas, under new E-USSR ‘Scrooge’ legislation and personal household security guidelines, has gone the way of the dinosaur and is deader than the Dodo. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics2 Comments

Hunk Obama Nominated for Porn Award

Hunk Obama Nominated for Porn Award

The nominees for the upcoming AVN Adult Video awards were released today, and in surprising move, the Adult Academy has nominated President Obama for Best Male Performer.

It should be noted that the president is receiving the nomination without performing a single on-screen thrust, causing considerable controversy within the industry. Dick Ironrod, who is also nominated for the award, expressed concerns that Obama had the requisite experience. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Politics2 Comments

Sarah Palin: Going Rove

Sarah Palin: Going Rove

If you will be kind enough to indulge me, I would like to propose a toast: Here’s to Sarah Palin; may she never – ever – go away.

I am going to go out on a limb here: No woman since Eleanor Roosevelt has done more to further the cause of progressive politics in the United States of America than has our Sarah. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics1 Comment

Rumpy Pumpy: E-USSR Presidential Favourite

Rumpy Pumpy: E-USSR Presidential Favourite

Belgian Prime Minister Herman van Rumpy Pumpy appears to be the frontrunner for selection as the dystopic E-USSR’s first permanent president at a summit in Brussels this coming Thursday.

The centre-right of left leader has a reputation as a canny duckfat chewer with a self-deprecating sense of humour (he jams sticks of rhubarb in his ears and does reindeer impersonations) which has helped him to hold together a fractious national coalition government who have suffered several calamitous ‘giggle’ failures this past two years after he abolished the Ministry for Graft and Corruption. Continue Reading

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Labour Candidate Calls Queen ‘Vermin in Ermin’

Labour Candidate Calls Queen ‘Vermin in Ermin’

One of PM Gordon Brown’s brain-dead New Labour election candidates may be sacked before he even gets a job following the instance of his calamitous faux pas of publicly declaring the Queen to be a “parasite” and “vermin scum” on a Tory-owned website.

Jacko McScrunt, who is seeking election to Slumgutter Hamlets Borough Council in South London next May, wrote the comments on Tory MP Dinsdale Fuctifino’s Facebook page. Continue Reading

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Tea Partying Like It’s 1929

Tea Partying Like It’s 1929

“This bill is the greatest threat to freedom that I have seen in the nineteen years I have been here in Washington”
John Boehner
November 5, 2009

The greatest threat to freedom in nineteen years? Oh, dear! Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics5 Comments

Welfare Handouts – Visit the UK & fill Yer Boots with Booty

Welfare Handouts – Visit the UK & fill Yer Boots with Booty

Now here’s a brain-teaser to contemplate while considering which scumbag political party to vote for in next year’s General Election.

Why is the common British working class peasant paying child benefit for kids that don’t live in the UK and have never even heard of – let alone seen – the White Cliffs of Dover? Continue Reading

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Black Men Can’t Curtsey

Black Men Can’t Curtsey

Obama’s botched bow to Emperor Akiheehaw this weekend has put the culturally-refined Japanese themselves in the diplomatically delicate position of not knowing whether to laugh or cry – and are as painfully embarrassed over the shameful spectacle as if Dubya Bush had still been the Pres’ and given Akiheewaw one of his Texas turkey-brained Merkel-style backrubs. Continue Reading

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Obama’s Admin Creates Jobs in Neverland

Obama’s Admin Creates Jobs in Neverland

Now here’s a breaking news story to warm the cockles of your heart and make you proud to be American.
Oh yes, enough to inspire you to shout out loud from the rooftops and declare “See, I told you we were spot on switching to Democrat and voting for the Kenyan guy!”

And why is this so? For the Obama administration’s financial bailout package – all mega-zillions of dollars-worth of it – has – in the midst of this quagmire of a global recession – saved ‘and’ created thirty jobs in Arizona’s 15th Congressional District – simply by laying out a measly $761,420.75c in federal stimulus spending. Continue Reading

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Gordon Brown Offers “I’m Not Quite the the Worst Case Scenario”; Is

Gordon Brown Offers “I’m Not Quite the the Worst Case Scenario”; Is

Now, not only do we have Posh Dave Cameron and his Tory scumsters picking on poor old Gordon Brown – the Stalinist Slime Minister nobody voted for – but he’s getting it in the neck from all and sundry and can’t seem to do anything right for doing wrong.

Gordon, as a politician, has been up shitcreek without a paddle since taking over from top sleazebag Tony Bliar, and made his first monumental faux pas in the House of Conmans last December when defending New Labour’s bankrupt banks rescue strategy Continue Reading

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CIA Balanced Budget thanks to Low-Cost Uzbeki Torture

CIA Balanced Budget thanks to Low-Cost Uzbeki Torture

According to a scathing report published today in the International Daily, the CIA relied on military intelligence extracted from Jolly Jihadi Muslim prisoners by methods of torture at extraordinary rendition centres in Uzbekistan.

Uz-beki-where? someone shouts from the depths of cyberspace. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, War Zone0 Comments

Obama Mastering Asian Arm Control

Obama Mastering Asian Arm Control

SINGAPORE, ASIA — US President Barack Obama shows every intent of mastering Arm Control Photo-ops (ACP-op) over Singapore’s PM Lee Hsien Loong, as seen here in our photo at the left. Once officially documented, Obama plans to continue on with the rest of the Asian heads of state. His final mastery will be the long awaited ACP-op with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics6 Comments

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