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Obama Proposes Pet Health Care Plan to Woo Seniors

Obama Proposes Pet Health Care Plan to Woo Seniors

Stung by reports that the elderly are turning against his health care reform proposal, President Barack Obama is prepared to offer seniors a series of incentives to get them back on board. Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Politics0 Comments

Kennedy to Achieve Health Care Reform from Grave

Kennedy to Achieve Health Care Reform from Grave

Washington — Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward reports that the Obama Administration plans to use the death of Senator Ted Kennedy to fast-track its health care reform measure now languishing in Congress. Continue Reading

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Obama: Stop Bothering Me

Obama: Stop Bothering Me

Washington — A source close to President Barack Obama tells Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward that the President has begun to chafe at his inability to get away from the job, even at his vacation retreat on Martha’s Vineyard. Continue Reading

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Posted in Human Interest, Politics, Top Stories1 Comment

Woodward: Biden, Panetta Losing Obama’s Confidence

Woodward: Biden, Panetta Losing Obama’s Confidence

ABC News – Washington Post Associate Editor Bob Woodward reported today that President Obama may replace Vice President Joe Biden and CIA Director Leon Panetta before the end of his first term. Continue Reading

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Obamas Worry Martha’s Vineyard Visit “Looks Elitist”

Obamas Worry Martha’s Vineyard Visit “Looks Elitist”

National Enquirer — An intrepid National Enquirer reporter has managed the near-impossible: gain access to the Obama compound on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper. During his time at the estate, John Smith discovered a hiding place in the bushes outside a screened-in porch where top advisors gathered to discuss political strategy. Following is a partial transcript of one of the sessions Smith taped: Continue Reading

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Obama Hosts Thursdays Under The Magnolia Tree

Obama Hosts Thursdays Under The Magnolia Tree

Washington, DC – President Obama announced that the small meeting held last Thursday between himself, Joe Biden, Professor Gates and Officer Crowley to share a beer and clear up any misunderstandings that may have arisen due to the incident involving Gates’ arrest by Crowley was highly successful. Continue Reading

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CIA Tape Shocker: Pelosi in Bed with Reid, Murtha

CIA Tape Shocker: Pelosi in Bed with Reid, Murtha

Washington — In an escalation of the conflict between the Central Intelligence Agency and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, a CIA source has provided the New York Times a tape of what he maintains is a July 2007 meeting attended by Pelosi, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, and Rep. John Murtha. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Top Stories, War Zone0 Comments

Clinton: North Korea Needs Good Spanking

Clinton: North Korea Needs Good Spanking

Phuket, Thailand – Hillary Clinton angrily announced yesterday from Phuket (pronounced “fuh-ket” or alternatively “Phuket”), that she’s had it with North Koreans, likening them to little children demanding attention. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, World News0 Comments

Foundation to Launch “Cash for Congressional Clunkers” Program

Foundation to Launch “Cash for Congressional Clunkers” Program

New York — The Foundation to Preserve American Values, a private philanthropic group, announced at a news conference today that it will distribute up to one billion dollars in grants to selected members of Congress. Ralph Warren, President of the FPAV, called the initiative, “Cash for Congressional Clunkers.” Continue Reading

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Mansour Biden Unleashed

Mansour Biden Unleashed

Washington – At a hastily called press briefing yesterday, Vice President Joe Biden blasted the New York Times for asserting in an editorial that a highly classified document on American missile defense was made public accidentally. Continue Reading

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Posted in Politics, Strange People, Top Stories0 Comments

Hillary: Gore Threatened Me with Endorsement

Hillary: Gore Threatened Me with Endorsement

In an interview with Salon Magazine, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton charged that in May of 2008, former Vice President Al Gore threatened to support her for President, over her objections. Continue Reading

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Obama Administration Stunned by State Department Secession

Obama Administration Stunned by State Department Secession

Washington – Secretary of State Hillary Clinton declared today the State Department‘s independence from the Obama Administration. Press Secretary Robert Gibbs reported that President Obama reacted very coolly to the news. “His only comment,” Gibbs said, was, “Let’s all be calm about this and give everybody a few weeks to sort things out.” Continue Reading

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Hillary Trashes Bill on “Oprah”

Hillary Trashes Bill on “Oprah”

Chicago – In a widely anticipated appearance on the Oprah Winfrey show, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton offered her sympathy to Jenny Sanford, the wife of admitted adulterer, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford. To the audience’s surprise, Mrs. Clinton then addressed nagging questions about her own marriage to Bill Clinton. Continue Reading

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, Human Interest, Politics1 Comment

First Lady Threatens Legal Action on Sotomayor Nomination

First Lady Threatens Legal Action on Sotomayor Nomination

Washington – In an interview with Katie Couric this morning, Michelle Obama revealed that she is suing the President for breach of contract over the nomination of Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court. Continue Reading

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White House Claims Bush Torched California for Sport

White House Claims Bush Torched California for Sport

New York – In the current edition of The Nation magazine, White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel charges that President Bush is personally responsible for burning California’s economy. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Environment, Politics0 Comments

Biden Real Hero of Somali Pirate Standoff

Biden Real Hero of Somali Pirate Standoff

In an interview with the Washington Post today, Vice President Joe Biden took credit for resolving the USS Bainbridge-Somali pirate standoff last April. Continue Reading

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