Category: Politics
Polls Show Increased Respect for Republican Shamelessness
Dateline: WASHINGTON—Polls indicate that Republicans are more respected by Americans, as a result of their complicated response to Russian President Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. Since George W. Bush’s second term, polls revealed that Americans’ respect for Republicans had plummeted. Analysts…
Canadians Urge Ukrainians to seek Peace Through Dullness!
Backed by a majority of Canadians, the Canadian government has passed a resolution urging Ukrainians to stop fighting and to handle their internal conflict by being more boring like the Canadians. Ukraine is split between ethnic Russians in the eastern…
Canadians Urge Ukrainians to Seek Peace through Dullness
Dateline: OTTAWA—Backed by a majority of Canadians, the Canadian government has passed a resolution urging Ukrainians to stop fighting and to handle their internal conflict by being more boring, like Canadians.
Seth Rogan Testifies Before Congress About Seth Rogan
In a six minute address before a Senate Hearing on Alzheimer’s research funding that has gone viral on the Internet, comedian and actor Seth Rogan was successful at focusing discussion on the lack of knowledge and attention paid to Seth…
Arizona State Legisislature Votes To Change State Motto, Slogan
Giddy with the joy of Christ at successfully legalizing state sponsored endorsement of dark age phobias and insanities the Arizona State Legislature voted to to change the State slogan and motto along with other state designations and affiliations.
Slamming of ConDems ‘Highly Accurate’
Ministers last night applauded Britain’s leading Roman Catholic for being well-informed and on point. They praised Archbishop of Westminster Vincent Nichols after he denounced government poverty creation schemes. Downing Street said David Cameron believes there is a moral case only…
To Avoid Drought Disaster, California Governor Asks Residents to Pee Outside
In a desperate attempt to avoid a statewide water shortage, California governor Jerry Brown has requested that all men and women in the state pee outside in the woods, on the lawn or in a garden area. “These are desperate…
In Duel With The NRA And LaPierre Obama Loses
Many believed it would be a dramatic and historic meeting between President Obama and NRA leader Wayne LaPierre when they met at a press conference in New York this afternoon. After a long standing feud (minus guns but about guns)…
Mass Murderer Calls Republicans Soft on Satanic Values
Dateline: LOS ANGELES—In a documentary about the life of the infamous anarchist and sadistic mass murder, Max Truculence, Mr. Truculence criticizes American conservatives for being “soft-hearted, effeminate phonies.” He spoke from prison, since he’s currently serving a thousand year sentence…
Bridge-gate? Mayor Cokeford? Fuggedaboutit, eh?
Most political scandals in America have a Washington connection. Think Watergate, Abscam, Iran-Contra and Clinton-Lewinsky. In the case of the maelstrom surrounding Chris Christie, however, the Washington connection happens to be the George Washington Bridge spanning New Jersey and Manhattan….