Category: Politics
Bachmann Claims Decisive 0.93% Victory in Straw Poll
AMES, IA —GlossyNews At $30 each, 16,892 Iowans were trucked to Ames for a day of politickin’ (locally it’s called ‘pot lickin’) and BBQ. A grand $506,760 was the total straw vote cash take for the GOPTea in Ames, Iowa…
Obama Reaches Out to Republican Pinheads to Solve America’s Problems
WASHINGTON – Faced with increasing criticism from within his own party about his concessions to Republicans as part of the recent debt ceiling deal, President Obama yesterday attempted to explain the reasoning behind his approach during a meeting with Democratic…
Charlie Sheen Backing Rick Perry for President Because “He’s Smokin’ Hot”
It used to be that a person would back a Presidential candidate based on his voting record and his willingness to serve the American people. Honorable men and women would ask for your vote and in exchange, they would let…
Ann Coulter’s Torrid Love Email to Radical Christian Murderer Breivik
The ever intrepid Wonki Leaks has scored another scoop with a revealing email sent by the acid blooded extreme American right winger Ann Coulter to the Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik. Hacked from Breivik’s email account by Rupert Murdoch himself,…
Global Debt Crisis Eases Worries About Global Warming
NEW YORK – Despite suffering through one of the hottest summers on record, Americans are finding that their previous concerns about the possible long-term effects of global warming have been nearly eradicated as a result of their newfound fears about…
Republicans Claim Inheritance Tax Owed on Deficit Inherited from Bush
Republicans continue to assure the wealthiest Americans that no new taxes will be levied against them. However, with the Tea Party breathing down their necks and threatening to withhold votes if something isn’t done to get the budget under control,…
EXPOSE – Artificial Recession Created to Prop Up World’s Billionaires
The current recession is a big success state stated the heads of all the multi national corporations unanimously in their secret publication The Upper Crust Of The Upper Crust. This publication is known and distributed only to those possessing more…
Caddy Breaks Silence on Obama-Boehner Debt Ceiling Golf Match
Breaking now to The Daily Trough: a caddy in the important Obama-Boehner June golf meeting at Andrews AFB has come forward with information on the current impasse between both leaders. This caddy strongly resembles Paul Krugman but said this appearance…
Debt Ceiling Debate Came Down to Rock, Paper, Scissors
EDITOR’S NOTE: ARTICLE WRITTEN BEFORE AGREEMENT WAS REACHED – After recent discussions in Congress over John Boehner and Harry Reid’s plans to solve the debt ceiling crisis dissolved into gavel smashing and cross-aisle spitting, political analysts have predicted that the…
First Weiner, Now Boehner, Caught Pants Down
In what can only be described as a doubly penetrating scandal, pictures have now emerged of an exposed Boehner. According to a source close to Boehner, the politician is currently involved in a scandal involving emails sent to a 68-year-old…