In what can only be described as a doubly penetrating scandal, pictures have now emerged of an exposed Boehner. According to a source close to Boehner, the politician is currently involved in a scandal involving emails sent to a 68-year-old male resident of the Phillipines, named Ping Tong.
Though the pictures are far too graphic to display, we have obtained an example of the dialogue contained in the emails.
J.B. – “Have you ever seen a real chode? It’s a very rare, powerful animal.”
P.T. – “No have not, I home in phillipines”
J.B. -“It’s actually a picture of my weiner”
P.T. -“I have to go work for $1/hr at the factory now”
When asked for a comment on the issue, Rep. Boehner told us “I have no comment.” Slowly, however, the details have started to emerge. According to an inside source, Boehner met Tong in a bisexual, anime, foot-fetish chat room 6 months ago.
A spokesperson representing the republican told us yesterday that “Mr. Boehner will keep serving his constituents in the same, dignified, honest manner he has shown over the last 6 months, and will not let this incident affect his political career.” It seems, however, that the representative’s wife is going to have to try a little harder to satisfy Boehner and keep him away from Phillipians.