Category: Top Stories
“Penis Prologue” Heats Up War of the Sexes in Michigan
A hastily written script entitled the “Penis Prologue” is scheduled to be read by Michigan Speaker James Bolger on the Michigan State Capitol steps Friday before hundreds of male counter-protesters. The reading is in response to Rep. Lisa Brown’s performance…
Greece Plans to Close Budget Deficit by Reloading Big, Fat Greek Wedding Franchise
Athens — After many years of embarrassing budget mismanagement leading to a debt of over 450 billion dollars, the Greek government has agreed that the only way out of their economic recession is to remake the 2002 sleeper hit My Big…
Romney Gaffe; Seamus Descendant Bites Back
It’s the shaggy dog story that Mitt Romney can’t shake. Hounded by animal rights activists for strapping the family dog to the roof of his car during a 12-hour road trip to Canada, the story has refused to lie down…
Job Opening: Got What it Takes to be al Qaeda’s New Number 2?
Recently, Al Qaeda’s #2 in command was killed in a drone strike. This makes him the fourth Al Qaeda #2 to be taken out in the past 18 months. In the interest of casting a wider net for possible replacement…
Florida Cracks Up; South Florida Secedes
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled today that the state of Florida can divide into two states. The decision was unanimous. Justice Anthony Kennedy wrote “… severability initiated by a majority of state citizens does not equate to secessionism of said…
Prop 8 SCOTUS Vote Jerks GOPTea© Full Circle
WASHINGTON DC —GlossyNews There’s a small but rising fear in some GOPTea© circles that if SCOTUS agrees that California’s Prop 8 is unconstitutional, Romney will lose a very effective rallying point for evangelical conservatives.
Conservative Right Shares Plans To Revive Economy Post-Election
HOW REPUBLICANS WILL IMPROVE THE ECONOMY IF ELECTED: • Start a new war to refocus attention off the bad state of national affairs and to bolster arm sales and allow corporate ‘service’ interests to leech money off the taxpayers to…
Second U.S. Civil War Ends In 2017- America Divided East & West
NEWS OF THE FUTURE- April, 2018 — Many changes have come to America in the years since the second Civil War in 2017. As you well know the increasing partisan tensions between the Democrats and Republicans, brewing in intensity for…
5-Bed Neo-Classical for Sale, Prime Penn. Ave Location
Determined to put a dent in the national debt, the House of Representatives has voted to sell the White House. The Senate quickly jumped on debt reduction bandwagon but held out for the less radical idea of simply mortgaging the…
Military to Balance Budget via Naming Rights
Because of severe military budget reductions, the MetLife Defense Department has begun selling naming rights to major military weapons systems and installations. The AT&T Pentagon, contacted by a senior military correspondent yesterday, said they expect to make millions from corporations…