Categorized | Politics

Conservative Right Shares Plans To Revive Economy Post-Election

Conservative Right Shares Plans To Revive Economy Post-Election


• Start a new war to refocus attention off the bad state of national affairs and to bolster arm sales and allow corporate ‘service’ interests to leech money off the taxpayers to ‘support’ the military effort.

• Start a ‘Threat To Be Terrified Of’ of the week campaign

• Do workers a ‘favor’ by allowing them to work three jobs to survive.

• Fence off of Washington D.C. to anyone without connections or with an income under $150,000.

• Allow people to live at their job site so they don’t have to be paid as much and so they can be at work earlier.

• Giving foreign workers ‘Serf’ status as long they stay at menial jobs and do not try to advance economically.

• Start a ‘Be A Patriot And Get a Second Job’ club in your hometown.

• Turn all National Parks into huge golf courses which will hire the locals not evicted to work at the menial jobs.

• Turn each State government over to a corporate entity to run. All residents of the state will lose their citizenship and automatically become employees of the corporation. The State of New York will become the state of Dow Jones, Illinois will become Armour Meats, Kansas will then be known as Monsanto and Washington State as Wehrhausen for example. The only state to retain its original name will be Texas, although the name will be adjusted to Texas Instruments.

• Give the unemployed minimum wage jobs demolishing the very houses they lost to foreclosure that the banks now cannot sell so that the Uber-rich can use the empty land spaces to expand the property of their second, third, and fourth homes.

• Move the homeless out to floating barges in the ocean where they won’t sully up the downtown areas and they can fish to survive. Also if they die at sea they can be buried in the ocean and not take up valuable land space in the cities with a grave.

• Make Walmart the only allowed lower class store that can get a business license and ban the rest so there will be more room for ritzy outlet and specialty stores for the rich since they will shortly be the only ones to have money anyway.

• Allow drilling in people’s backyards.

• Create an economic stimulus for the upper classes by making slavery legal again.

And what will the Democrats do to improve the economy if re-elected?

• Cave in to everything the Republicans want.


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I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at


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