Category: Top Stories
2012 Campaign Issues for Dummies
For those of us having a hard time keeping up with the issues this election year there’s welcome help on the horizon. John Wiley and Sons, Inc. released the latest in their series of voter issue references entitled, Campaign Issues…
Budget Cuts Threaten U.S. Readiness for Unlikely War
Pentagon worried about ability to defend nation against improbable attack by indeterminate enemy. WASHINGTON – Facing potential budget cuts of $1 trillion over ten years as a result of the U.S. Congress’s failure to agree on a deficit reduction plan,…
UK Coalition Sharing Like Sisters
Desperate to quash rumours of further cracks in the UK government the first coalition in 65 years has released a statement ensuring the continuing cooperation of the two parties. The statement from Number 10 Downing Street, issued this morning, says…
U.S. Congress Sets Fixed Price on Free Speech
A bill explicitly stating that American citizens will be allocated 1 second of free speech for every $10,000 they make a year has made its way through the Senate subcommittee process. The following is the official transcript of the final…
Is GlossyNews Editor Brian K. White Secretly a Moderate?
An ultra-conservative friend of mine recently wrote to me saying that he’s read my stories, but secretly suspects that I might not be as left-leaning as I come across in some of those articles. To him, I said “you’re probably…
Leaked Tax Returns Reveal Romney Barely Scraping by on Food Stamps
WASHINGTON D.C. – In what could prove a decisive blow in the race for the White House, newly released Tax documents have revealed that presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney is just barely scraping by on food stamps. Romney’s reluctance…
Obama Thinking A Mohawk Might Help w/ Campaign Donations
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Bobak Ferdowsi, the “Mohawk guy” who worked on NASA’s Mars Curiosity rover landing has a famous new fan. Last week, President Obama said he’s been thinking about emulating him and having his Chicago barber style his…
Mitt Romney Accepts Monkey on Back
Mitt Romney announced today that he will accept the Republican nomination for President wearing a STAPLES logo stitched to his back. “And no, my friends,” Romney joked to the partisan crowd. “The logo won’t actually be stapled to my back….
Sources Reveal Mitt Romney’s Past Membership in Gangsta Rap Group
The Washington Post has recently reported details from Governor Mitt Romney’s past that may derail the presumptive Republican candidate’s goal of the White House in the 2012 Presidential Election. Quoting a variety of anonymous sources, the Post has reported that…
Mitt Ryan Picks Paul Romney for VP; and a Political Bromance Blossoms
In one of the most romantic scenes since Gosling kissed McAdams in the rain, former governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts offered Congressman Paul Ryan of Wisconsin his hand in political matrimony. Not only did Governor Romney offer Ryan a place…