Category: Top Stories
Pelosi Uses Assault Weapon, Averts Federal Shutdown
Days after an assault weapons ban was removed from a gun violence bill in the Senate earlier this week, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif, entered house chambers on Thursday, legally equipped with a SIG SG 550 assault rifle. Pelosi…
Oil Down on No News
With a lack of signals coming from analysts and virtually no news that could have an impact on crude prices, oil has again suffered moderate setbacks today. Confounding investors who lack any fundamentals to trade on, Wall Street again witnessed…
Obama under fire for calling Quvenzhane Wallis the C-Word
President Barack Obama joked about a wide variety of subjects on Saturday at the annual White House Correspondents’ Dinner, but has outraged some with the distasteful quip he made about Quvenzhane Wallis, the Academy Award nominated nine-year old ‘Beasts of…
College Nerd Gets Back at Frat Guys
After semesters of humiliation, a major league nerd at the University of Arizona has exacted revenge on the group of frat brothers who targeted him for ridicule for his nerdiness, among other faults. In a personal interview with Bill Maher,…
Progress in Education Reform: The We Don’t Care about Our Children Act
With the pending education fiscal cuts, the White House and Congress have cooperated in creating a proactive initiative that is not only financially feasible, but will ensure quality education. Working with other members of the Committee on Education and the…
Libertarian Realizes His Ideas Make No Sense
AUBURN – After years of internal struggle, a Libertarian activist has come forth and admitted his chosen ideology does not make any sense. Jon Rockwell, 23, who likes to go by the nickname “Voluntaryist Rand,” told reporters that Libertarianism cannot…
How America’s Various Factions View Obama (comic)
How do liberals view Obama? How do conservatives view Obama? These as well as the views of Evangelicals, FOX News, Michele Bachmann and more are covered. I didn’t cover the socialist or communist view of Obama, mostly because I lack…
Report: Biden to Become Prime Minister of Italy
After weeks of crisis and gridlock, Italians have a new prime minister, and his name is Biden. That is, Joseph Robinette Biden. America’s vice president was selected for the position after consensus picks such as Oliver Stone and Roman Polanski…
Newly elected Libertarian still hasn’t made friends
WASHINGTON— Ready to make America free as possible, New Hampshire’s newly elected Representative of the House, Andrew Oak, walked into Chamber and realized he has not a single friend among the 434 individuals clustered into what was essentially 2 cliques….
Cornfed Beefcake Seeks Harvard Professorship
RANSON – An angry, cornfed beefcake has announced his intention to quit the family farm and apply for a full professorship at Harvard University. Josiah Wilkins, who has only completed a GED and 10 college credits, made his plans clear…