Category: Biz News
Black Friday Leads To ‘Gotta Throw a Lot of Crap Out Yellow Tuesday’
The intense focus on post Thanksgiving retail selling initiated by Black Friday has now been one-upped by Walmart’s new play of starting specials on Thanksgiving night, thus luring people out of their homes on a major family holiday. It also…
97-Year-Old Walmart Employee Granted Early Retirement
Norma Harris, 97, of Rogers, Arkansas, will be granted early retirement from her full time position as a Walmart greeter after 44 years of employment with the mega-retailer. Harris will be the first person in Walmart history to be paid…
Indianapolis Mayor Thinks A Bunch of Really Tall Skyscrapers Would Be Pretty Neat
INDIANAPOLIS – Peering philosophically out of his city-council building office window Monday, Mayor of Indianapolis Greg Ballard thinks that a whole bunch of “really freaking tall” skyscrapers would be pretty neat right about now. Even though his office remains devoid…
Very Enterprising: Casket of Candy
With the economy in dire conditions entrepreneurs are looking to invest in recession proof businesses resulting in hundreds of coffin/candy shops springing up all over the country. Often branded as the ‘place to bury a loved one and unearth a…
Company that “Downloads the Internet to Your Phone” Shuttered
Little known software maker, Webaroo, has recently shuttered its operations. The founders, pictured to the right, in the traditional robes of psychedelic priests, have reportedly spent all of the $7.5 million dollars of funding they received on obscure research chemicals,…
Pioneering Restaurant “Leftovers” Offers Low Prices, Leftovers
A new restaurant chain called Leftovers recently opened in downtown San Jose, California. Imagine going to your favorite deli and getting a sandwich with a big bite mark it in; most customers would be confused or infuriated, but not at…
‘I’ve Worked Long and Hard to get Where I am Today’, Lies Attractive Business Woman
INDIANAPOLIS – Stunning local business woman Elizabeth Snowden today insisted that her successful career and blossoming lifestyle were the result of hard work and dogged persistence: a lie she has maintained now for over four years. Snowden, who is current…
Welcome to the Hotel Post-Bush Tax Cuts
Discount hotel chains nationwide plan to leave the light on for a new breed of budget-conscious traveler—America’s most wealthy citizens. After Dr. Hamilton Lempert, a Cincinnati emergency room doctor, conveyed to NPR that expiration of the Bush tax cuts at…
Women, Help End Discrimination Against Men … by Getting Struck by Lightning
I am a staunch advocate of women’s rights to equal treatment and nearly equal pay. I’ve even watched Oprah and Ellen on occasion. But please don’t tell my golfing buddies. They would never understand. There is no denying that women…
Wal-Mart to Reduce Prices to Zero
“We’re all about low prices” took on a new meaning today, as international retail giant Wal-Mart Corporation announced that it would henceforth accept indentured servitude in lieu of cash or credit payment. “It has always been our policy to make…