Category: Society
Inmate Shares Out-of-Body Experience, Charged with Escape
SUSANVILLE, CA – In a move that blurs the line between metaphysics and criminology, the Lassen County District Attorney’s Office filed escape charges against a High Desert State Prison (HDSP) inmate who admitted to having had an out-of-body experience, or…
GREEN REVOLUTION! New Right-Wing ‘Ecological Diversity’ Agenda
Controversial leaders Theresa May, Donald Trump and Jair Bolsonaro have heralded a new spring of right-wing environmental consciousness. And for the first time ever, the environment has been made a true populist, anti-elitist cause! But what could possibly be at…
Welcome to Mad Mad Monkey Men! Funny Youtube Stars of the Future?!
Welcome to Mad Mad Monkey Men! This week a new channel launched on YouTube with near-zero fanface, despite being pretty awesome. It’s like Good Mythical Morning, but with kids, and it’s awfully fun. The promise to do taste tests, game…
Feminists OUTRAGED! Biden’s Creepy Campaign Trail Song List Leaks… CREEPY!
BIDEN 2020: FIRST SEXUALLY QUESTIONABLE PRESIDENT? Serial groper and wildcat Juncker’s sciatica handyman Joe ‘Creepy Uncle Joe Biden’ has just recently announced a bid for the presidency, despite a history of sexual misdemeanours which leaves but little daylight between him…
“CRIME ISN’T A COLLUSION!” Trump & Giuliani Defend Bolsonaro Assassination Epidemic!
WHO IS BEHIND THE EPIDEMIC OF MISSING JOURNALISTS IN BRAZIL?! The mainstream media are blaming their country’s new leader, Jair Bolsonaro. Alleging that the mysterious disappearances have been directly commissioned, Putin-style, by the flamboyantly irritable Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro, the…
Libertarians & GOP Demand MASS REVOLT Against UN Human Trafficking Laws!
HOW IS MUCH IS ONE LIFE REALLY WORTH?! Well, I guess we’re about to find out! Republicans and the Libertarian Party have staged a mass revolt against the UN 2019 human trafficking report. The Executive Director for the United Nations…
By the Grace of Sean (Bad Poetry for Bad Media)
Bellicose, via mega phone, go… Secure your homes, Holmes, Cause you’re all alone, Jones All the skin and bones talk, All them victims criss-crossed… With their children en tow… They tried to cross the road! By the grace of…
Cruella De Ville Muscling My Customer
”What is it?” I said looking at a very indecisive customer. ”I’m just not sure if I should buy the shoes, mate!” he says, confusing me. ”You love the look, the price, they’re comfortable.” I wait for his long-owed reply,…
Gay Old Party Strikes Again! Auntie Lindsey 2020, the Closet Choice! (Ted Haggard Guest Post)
NOTE FROM WALLACE: Our occasional guest contributor, Ted ‘I Know What You Did Last Night’ Haggard has provided us with one of the saltiest, spiciest lil old hot takes we’ve had in a while here at Glossy News! Enjoy! WOOP…
Blond President Jokes
What is fine dining to the Blond President? Anything on the Value Meal menu at McDonald’s.