Feminists OUTRAGED! Biden’s Creepy Campaign Trail Song List Leaks… CREEPY!

BIDEN 2020: FIRST SEXUALLY QUESTIONABLE PRESIDENT?

Serial groper and wildcat Juncker’s sciatica handyman Joe ‘Creepy Uncle Joe Biden’ has just recently announced a bid for the presidency, despite a history of sexual misdemeanours which leaves but little daylight between him and George Bush Sr, Anthony Weiner, the Clinton Dynasty, Donald Trump and Jean-Claude Juncker!

(For those across the pond who don’t know who the last boyo is… Don’t ask!)

However, we now have for you a confidential leak of Biden’s embarrassingly entitled campaign trail song list.

Buckle up, cos this is gonna get messy…

FLEETWOOD MAC

What’s better than a legendary American folk band?

A legendary American folk band propping up a legendary centrist creep!

… PROPPING UP?

Er…

NEVERMIND!

No, not that one…

THIS!

Loving you isn’t the right thing to do
How can I ever change things that I feel?

If I could maybe I’d give you my world
How can I when you won’t take it from me?

Is Biden angling to be the best left-wing incel since Riley Dennis?

STING

Trump famously (some would say notoriously) reassured/warned America they would no longer be left alone.

In this spirit, Biden wants us all to know:

 

TIFFANY

16 year old pop singer with long, curly red hair, singing about finding somewhere she could be alone with, well, whoever! Let’s hope Uncle Joe’s heartbeat doesn’t get ‘changed’ any time soon!

CHUCK BERRY

Oh God, let’s not even start!

If you read the previous entry, you can probably guess already.

Anywhere, here’s a bit of the Proclaimers, just because I can!

JAMES BLUNT

For all the creeping-on-someone else’s-girlfriends-we-used-to-know…

Feminists are reportedly outraged, apparently for the first time ever!

More on this story when we’ve finally finished locking up our daughters.

 

 

Author: Wallace Runnymede

Wallace is the editor of Brian K. White's epic website, Glossy News! Email him with your content at wallacerunnymede#gmail.com (Should be @, not #!) Or if you'd like me to help you tease out some ideas that you can't quite put into concrete form, I'd love to have some dialogue with you! Catch me on Patreon too, or better still, help out our great writers on the official Glossy News Patreon (see the bottom of the homepage!) Don't forget to favourite Glossy News in your browser, and like us on Facebook too! And last but VERY MUCH not the least of all... Share, share, SHARE! Thanks so much for taking the time to check out our awesome site!

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