Category: Health
Diet Craze “Famine” Sweeps Hollywood, 3rd World
Madonna has returned from her latest trip to Africa with a new celeb ‘famine’ diet. Always looking for a way to stay in shape Madonna, 53, has been following a new diet that will dramatically lower body fat, bone density and muscle….
The End of Freedom in America. Blame it on the Tyranny of Obamacare
If you’re like most patriotic, big government-distrusting Americans, you are probably experiencing a range of emotions right now, from anger to rage to angerful rage. It’s a dark day in America thanks to the dreaded OBAMACARE Act of 2010, which…
Following Cannibal Attacks, The CDC Issues Zombie Alert
Atlanta, GA – (SatireWorld.com) The world’s leading research and communicable disease control center (CDC) located in Atlanta, Georgia has issued its first ever Zombie Alert, advising US citizens to be prepared and have ample stocks and supplies on hand in…
When it Comes to Healthcare, Give Me Liberty and Give Me Death
America is the world leader in most important categories: #1 in nuclear warheads, #1 in citizens incarcerated, and breaking into the top 50 in healthcare. We don’t look to Europe for solutions to our problems because those countries are a…
Leaked Torture Study Truly Unbelievable
What follows is an excerpt from a leaked torture study titled Judicious Use of Cognitive and Physical Trauma to Elicit Psychic Response–By Dr.Gunter Chang. This is not for the feint of heart or the wobbly of knees. Read ahead with…
Exciting Miracle Weight Loss Cure Placebolax
Introducing Placebolax – from SCAMCO – the same company that brought you the (not-quite-FDA-approved) sleep interrupter device Miracle Snore and Eye Can See, the popular battery-operated do-it-yourself laser eye surgery kit.
Heart Torn From Him While Living; Undead Won’t Rest Until Cheney Returns It
There are levels of Hell that even Dante did not know. (Image courtesy of outletradio.com) Hells that are not bright and hot but with an icy cold that freezes thought itself. Hells of place, of emotion, of mind, of other…
Ford Claims Insurance Faith Exemption
Long after contemporary pundits have passed on to their respective rewards (7th level of Dante’s Inferno) historians may characterize the Affordable Healthcare Act as 2700 pages of unintended consequences. That possibility loomed larger this week as Ford Motor Company triggered…
Tweezers and Magnified Mirrors Selling Fast as Depilatory Cream Ban Hits America
A ban on all depilatory creams in America has aging women scrambling to find alternatives for getting rid of unsightly hair on their chins and necks. Pharmacies are finding it hard to keep tweezers and magnified mirrors in stock. “It’s…
News of Cheap, Effective Contraceptive has Women Applauding Santorum Supporter
The news out of Michigan this morning is that not all women in America are angry at Santorum financial backer, Foster Friess for stating that a safe and effective form of birth control for women is a simple aspirin placed…