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Armed Rebels Reclaim GlossyNews.com Headquarters

Armed Rebels Reclaim GlossyNews.com Headquarters

Following a bloody, three-hour gun battle on the outskirts of Seattle, armed loyalists to ousted editor Brian K. White have reclaimed the offices.

Glossy News had been under the control of The Blaze, Inc., which many considered hostile, for less than twelve hours when the fighting began. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, War Zone2 Comments

GlossyNews.com Is Under New Ownership

GlossyNews.com Is Under New Ownership

Effective as of midnight, GlossyNews.com is under new ownership. Editor Brian K. White has been relieved of his duties and a new editorial team will be shaping coverage from here out.

The sale had been in the works for some time. Media empire The Blaze Inc. is the purchaser, and while the sum paid is undisclosed, it is rumored to be in the four to five figure range. Continue Reading

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, Internets Tubes3 Comments

More Americans Turning to Glenn Beck for the Truth

More Americans Turning to Glenn Beck for the Truth

You may already know that Glenn Beck is handsome, charming and extremely intelligent, but did you know he also is the leading voice for many of America’s most lost and forgetten?

When the liberal media elite railroaded FOX News to take his wildly popular, amazingly informative show off the air, it had just begin to blossom. Well that show is still around, and countless Americans are still watching it. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Television5 Comments

Reddit to Open Real World Chat-Houses (x-post from reality)

Reddit to Open Real World Chat-Houses (x-post from reality)

Infamous web community Reddit is taking a big step. They’re going “meat space” and opening of real world “chat houses” in the US this fall, and they’re hoping it will bring all the same successes.

Jaskon Rosrath, the new VP of Ground Development, explained, “Reddit is great because it takes over your life life a wicked smack addiction, but it’s it’s not all good… We’re trying to bring the humanity back to it, cats and all.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes2 Comments

Search Engine Scandal; Google Auto-Completes Your Racism

Search Engine Scandal; Google Auto-Completes Your Racism

Google offers an Auto-Complete feature. You start your search, they suggest what you might want to see, based on what others have searched… and Google thinks you’re a huge racist.

I searched almost every country in the world and what I found was… well, it was interesting to say the least. I wouldn’t go as far as to say “informative”, but it definitely speaks to prejudices, pre-conceived notions and bigotry-at-large. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Technology15 Comments

What Potheads, Bikers, and Taylor Swift Have in Common

What Potheads, Bikers, and Taylor Swift Have in Common

New figures out indicate that blogs featuring pot, bikers, and Taylor Swift get the most hits and the most forum posts of any other, including porn, according to the Worldwide Association of Gossip Syndicate or WAGS.

While Potheads and Pot took the top spot with close to 14 million forum posts in the past three months, bikers came in a close second with 12.5 million. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes1 Comment

Letter to the editor: CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN are Democrat Networks

Letter to the editor: CBS, NBC, ABC & CNN are Democrat Networks

The following letter is in response to a story dated October, 21st of last year entitled Shepard Smith to Leave FOX News Over Harassment?. This mad gem comes to us from “Tim Pitchfork” from blah blah whatever.

Tim Pitchford (Carmel, IN) wrote:
Mike Kelly calls Fox the Republican :National ne work, does that mean that CBS, NBC, ABC and CNN are Democrat national networks?

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Posted in Internets Tubes8 Comments

Head Games: High-Tech Gladiator Games Coming to Social Media

Head Games: High-Tech Gladiator Games Coming to Social Media

For those of you who find most of their free time being eaten up on social media, but miss the old days where gladiator-style competition reigned supreme, Zygma introduces a simple fix.

Now you and your online friends can spend hours facing off against each other in a multi-level game in which feelings will be hurt, relationships ruined, and if you’re really lucky, actual blood spilled. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes1 Comment

Google CEO Apologizes for Inserting Creepy Subliminal Message into Search Engine Name

Google CEO Apologizes for Inserting Creepy Subliminal Message into Search Engine Name

MOUNTAINVIEW, CA–Larry Page, co-founder and CEO of the mammoth search engine known to the world as Google, released a shocking admission and subsequent apology yesterday for intentionally placing harmful subliminal messages into the name of his informational superhighway.

Though everyone may be familiar with Google and what it does, not everyone is aware of its shady nomenclature. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes1 Comment

Glenn Beck Saves TheBlaze by Not Offering Sarah Palin Job

Glenn Beck Saves TheBlaze by Not Offering Sarah Palin Job

God knows I love her, but we can’t have that kinda crazy around here ~ Glenn Beck

Glenn Beck says that when he heard Sarah Palin was leaving Fox News, he couldn’t have been happier.

“Now she will make something of herself, like I did,” he said proudly, adding “There is, after all, life after Fox.”

When Beck was fired from Fox back in the middle of 2011, many wondered if he’d ever recover from that mighty slap in the face by Roger Ailes. They aren’t wondering any longer, however. The answer is “No, he didn’t recover…yet.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes0 Comments

TPP Set to Shut Down Media Outlets

TPP Set to Shut Down Media Outlets

In a twist that will come as a shock to everyday users of the Internet, the Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) could permanently close down the websites of newspapers across the World Wide Web.

“The problem is the very broad language of the intellectual property chapter,” explained Senator Ron Wyden, who finally received a transcript of each round of negotiations thus far last week. “It doesn’t talk about ‘copyright infringement’, but instead speaks of ‘copyright theft’. Continue Reading

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Posted in Crime, Internets Tubes1 Comment

Proof Horoscopes Are Bunk: The Random Horoscope Generator

Proof Horoscopes Are Bunk: The Random Horoscope Generator

I’ve known these things were bogus since I was in about 6th grade, shortly after my librarian taught me about Barnum statements. This page proves it.

From there I learned about math and probability and realized that there’s zero chance all people born in the same 30-odd-day period could possibly have the same fate. It just defies probability, reason, and even the ever-wiggly common sense. But this page proves it. Continue Reading

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Posted in Horoscopes, Internets Tubes1 Comment

Even Grandma Thinks Bingo is Old School

Even Grandma Thinks Bingo is Old School

In the United States, bingo was originally called “beano”. No, it wasn’t a racial epithet, even though many aged Americans may also use it thusly. No, it was a game played at fairs where a dealer would select numbered discs from a cigar box and players would mark their cards with, wait for it, beans.

When they won, they’d holler out, “beano!” and claim their prize. Perhaps a jar of yams or a nice single wool sock, I don’t know what they gave out at fairs back then, but some speculate it was mostly polio. Continue Reading

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Posted in Entertainment, Internets Tubes0 Comments

Glossy News 2013 Predictions: It’s going to snow a lot… somewhere… eventually

Glossy News 2013 Predictions: It’s going to snow a lot… somewhere… eventually

Every year since Glossy News first started publishing during the Truman Administration, we have made bold predictions about the year ahead – in politics, world affairs, pop culture and advances in cutlery.

Our staff possesses an uncanny ability to peer into the future and predict fascinating events no other prognosticators are able to see. The fact that our predictions historically have had about as much chance of coming true as Lady Gaga has of becoming the next Pope is the only small blemish tarnishing our otherwise stellar reputation. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Opinion/Editorial1 Comment

Top GlossyNews.com Articles of 2012

Top GlossyNews.com Articles of 2012

For the first time in our 10+ years of publishing, we’re getting in on the end-of-year “top lists” game with a list of our top 10, well, 30 actually, stories of 2012.

These are broken into three lists. Top Stories of 2012, Top Stories from our Archives, and Top sub-site pages.

Everything is linked, so feel free to click on as many as you like. All links open in new windows. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes2 Comments

Multimillionaire McAfee Mucks Up Murder Mystery In Middle America

Multimillionaire McAfee Mucks Up Murder Mystery In Middle America

McAfee, is one of the world’s most used internet security websites. It is used to protect the computer user from computer viruses and other threats that can attack his machine while he is online.

Also now famous is the web creator himself, John McAfee. The multimillionaire, now a few million lighter than he was in his heyday, has been living the life of Reilly down in Belize, South America. Or rather, more like the life of Hefner. Continue Reading

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Posted in Internets Tubes, Strange People4 Comments

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