Author: Wyatt Jarvis
Carbon-Guzzlers of the World Unite! Whole Food Flights Bring Y’all THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS!
Whole Foods Markets Executive V.P. of Growth and Business Development, Jim Sud announced at a company event, that Whole Foods Market was, “taking to the sky” by launching its own airline. “We realized a long time ago that selling dubiously…
Half Time Show EP Ricky Kirshner Praises Sound Crew for “Clutch Performance”
Already hailed as the best Super Bowl Half-Time Show of the year, the Production Crew is garnering praise. The Sound Crew for the 2018 Super Bowl in Minneapolis perfectly executed Justin Timberlake’s vision of muddled audio. “I have to give…
Collinsworth: “The Patriots are still going to win Superbowl LII”
Color commentator Cris Collinsworth, best known for talking over his play-by-play co-host Al Michaels during prime-time NFL broadcasts, is reportedly still holding out hope for the New England Patriots to rally and defeat the Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles.
Galen Erso will Design Note8
Seoul, South Korea: Samsung announced that they have a new Head of Engineering overseeing the design of the Galaxy Note8. Galen Erso, the only engineer from the Note7 project deemed competent enough to avoid termination will be taking the helm…
Santa Drives Sleigh, Amazon Drives him to Bankruptcy
The North Pole: Jolly Ol’ Saint Nick was anything but Jolly as he announced to his elves and a tearful Mrs. Claus, that his North Pole-based Christmas empire, Kringle Corp World-Wide, will be filing for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy later this…
2015 AVN Awards to Feature NFL Injury Porn Category
The Adult Video News (AVN) Awards considered by many to be the “Oscars of Porn” will have an additional award to announce at their Las Vegas ceremony this January. According to a statement released by AVN Chairman and CEO Theo…