Half Time Show EP Ricky Kirshner Praises Sound Crew for “Clutch Performance”

Already hailed as the best Super Bowl Half-Time Show of the year, the Production Crew is garnering praise. The Sound Crew for the 2018 Super Bowl in Minneapolis perfectly executed Justin Timberlake’s vision of muddled audio. “I have to give a lot of praise to the men and women who successfully drowned out the pre-recorded vocal track,” stated the decade-long Executive Producer of the Pepsi Half Time Show.

“It was really important for us to muddy the audio so that it wouldn’t distract viewers from JT’s unique choice of wardrobe, and so he could sing with his mouth closed. That really freed him up to dance from spot to spot and more holistically showcase his lack of sensitivity to the musical culture he appropriates,” continued Kirshner.

Kirshner also praised the Sound Crew for their grit and veteran moxie, “we really learned from Coldplay and Katie Perry that not all performers can be like Bruno Mars, Beyonce, or Prince. We were really worried that Prince was going to steal this show posthumously, so it was really clutch for my guys to keep things quiet, garbled, and visually confusing,” the Producer continued. Kirshner also praised Timberlake’s wayward rendition of Prince’s I’d Die for You as being, “a sufficiently unmemorable soundtrack for the purple wave of light that consumed the city.”

Two other clutch moments came when two audio engineers snuck into the broadcast booth and supplied Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth a thesaurus. “It was really great that my team went out of their way to help Chris and Al to expand their vocabulary beyond ‘tremendous,’” waxed the glowing Executive Producer.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell also heaped on the praise for the audio engineers and technicians running around behind the scenes. According to Goodell, the unsung hero of the Closing Ceremony was 19-year-old intern Dallas Marks, who managed to Google ‘that one song Eagles fans sing when they’re drunk’ just in time to find a recording of Fly, Eagles, Fly on YouTube shortly before the curtain call. “That Dallas kid really showed a lot of guts. We were caught unawares by the unsanctioned outcome of the game so it really meant a lot that we could pander effectively at the end,” Roger Goodell said before slithering toward the exit.

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Author: Wyatt Jarvis

Quick-witted Mariners and Seahawks mega fan by day, democratic socialist by night.