Categorized | Sports, Sports Scandals

2015 AVN Awards to Feature NFL Injury Porn Category

2015 AVN Awards to Feature NFL Injury Porn Category

The Adult Video News (AVN) Awards considered by many to be the “Oscars of Porn” will have an additional award to announce at their Las Vegas ceremony this January.

According to a statement released by AVN Chairman and CEO Theo Sapoutzis, “We are pleased to announce that at this year’s award show we will be expanding from 136 awards to 137 in order to recognize the work of major media networks as they strive to indulge NFL fans in their lust for fresh angles on painful injuries.

“We have long considered creating this category but were unsure whether or not the objectification of the players involved was intentional or artful enough to justify an award.

“Our interest was piqued in the 2014 NFC Championship game when we got to watch Navarro Bowman’s knee buckle the wrong direction in 12 different angles at both full speed and in high definition slow motion while Joe Buck and Troy Aikman filled us in with their baseless speculation.

“For far too long the likes of CBS, Fox, NBC, ESPN and the NFL Network have not been recognized for creating and sharing what can only be described as injury porn.”

The announcement is the first of its kind since the AVN Awards committee decided that Group Sex and Threesome scenes should be evaluated in separate categories.

Roger Goodell has yet to release a statement but according to a Tweet from Adam Schefter, the Commissioner sees this as a welcome distraction and an excellent chance to strengthen the NFL brand in the wake of concerns over off-field violence.

Seahawks’ Quarterback Russell Wilson will present the award to the winning network. When asked about his thoughts on his role in the proceedings the young QB paused for a moment then said, “I hope the networks realize that the separation is in the preparation, dreams don’t come true they’re made true, that every week is a championship opportunity and don’t forget to pass the peace.”

Our sources believe the frontrunner in the voting will be CBS for their in-game coverage of the knee sprain suffered by Drew Stanton on the December 11th, edition of Thursday Night Football.

Widely touted as the only interesting thing to happen on Thursday Night Football this year, it was praised for the number of camera angles shown, a high length-of-coverage to severity-of-injury ratio and a Carson Palmer cameo from an earlier injury porn gem.

It remains unclear whether the ratings spike that accompanied the injury was related to the injury itself or simply that fans enjoyed a brief respite from commentator Phil Simms’ football analysis.

While Fox Sports is in the running for their coverage of Nick Foles breaking his collar bone some critics believe that the detailed, borderline academic narration of the injury distracted viewers from satiating their hunger for raw carnage.

A dark horse candidate is ESPN for their coverage of Tony Romo suffering a knee to the back against the Redskins but voters are hesitant because Romo’s surgically repaired back failed to rupture and voters are incapable of imagining the Redskins being associated with winning.

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- who has written 3 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Quick-witted Mariners and Seahawks mega fan by day, democratic socialist by night.

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