Author: jeff boldt
Study: 98% of Internet Users Admit their ROFL is Just LOL
A new study was released last week detailing various online practices of users across our interconnected globe. Needless to say, some appalling facts have come to light. Apparently, the vast majority of web surfers suffer from something called lying. Basically,…
Research Shows Many, in Fact, Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
It is a misnomer, one that has apparently seeped into the culture’s subconscious, that only one person flew over the cuckoo’s nest. This myth, perpetuated by the 70’s movie classic of the same name, has become so ingrained into our…
Satire Takes Day Off, North Korea Newsfeed Fills in Nicely
In light of recent events in Boston and West, TX, Satire has decided to take a break. Luckily, there are people in this world that can step in at a moment’s notice and fill her shoes quite nicely. The North…
Evolutionary Scientists Injured in Freak Arboricultural Accident
A group of evolutionary naturalists, anthropologists, and biologists were injured yesterday in what police are officially calling “an unfortunate and unnecessary accident”. According to eyewitnesses, hundreds of members of the Royal Society went on their daily tree-trimming expedition and somehow,…
Family Unsure If Passive Aggressive Man Likes Being Called Pam
His hair is as blue as the state in which he grew up and, by all accounts, as equally impressive. Jim Ballsinger–brother, son, lover, web forum coordinator–recently returned from his daily therapy session in seemingly high spirits. “Oh, that’s right,…
Math Nerd Sets “Less Than” Symbol as Facebook Profile at Most Inopportune Time
Polly Gonn, MIT class of 2012, recently updated her Facebook profile picture to one of her favorite mathematics symbols: less than. In doing so, she unwittingly unleashed a firestorm of heated comments, opinions, and questions the likes of which has…
Miami Heat Win Streak Ends–PBS Renews Telethon to Raise Awareness for Regular Season
Without realizing it, for the past month or so, the world was interested in the NBA’s regular season games. And all of the credit goes to one team: The Miami Heat. In case you just came out of a coma,…
Hawking Enlists David Copperfield to Demonstrate “Spontaneous Creation”
Hawking: Spontaneous Creation is the Reason Something is Here Rather than Nothing. World-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking, best known for his accessible books on the fundamental questions we all face, recently published his latest findings on a cosmological concept he calls…
Melting Glaciers Making “Really Nice” Ice Cubes for Inuits
GREENLAND–Last year, a melting glacier known as the Petermann glacier calved off a sizable chunk of ice approximately twice the size of Manhattan. And the Inuit couldn’t be happier. Apparently, the Greenlandic natives have been benefiting from global warming trends…
Science on God: Inference to Any Other Explanation the Best
Men like Stephen Hawking have helped introduce us to Science all over again and men like Richard Dawkins have helped us learn to appreciate its grandness and wonder anew. They’ve taught us to embrace skepticism in our pursuit of truth…