Categorized | Internets Tubes

Study: 98% of Internet Users Admit their ROFL is Just LOL

Study: 98% of Internet Users Admit their ROFL is Just LOL

A new study was released last week detailing various online practices of users across our interconnected globe. Needless to say, some appalling facts have come to light.

Apparently, the vast majority of web surfers suffer from something called lying. Basically, those who use internet slang as a form of communicating emotion are doing so superfluously, haphazardly, and, for the most part, under false pretenses.

The data showed that seventy-five percent of the time LOL is used, the perpetrators are simply grinning while typing. Even more disturbing is the revelation that ninety-eight to ninety-nine percent of the time the user claims that something is so funny they are literally rolling on the ground in hysterics–you guessed it–they are still in their chair or on their bed.

“We should have been suspicious from the very beginning,” says sociological expert Tom Frandlebars.

“We naively accepted that people were out there constantly laughing out loud. But then it escalated to careening on the ground like some sort of felled lumber. And, of course, it didn’t end there. The sheer audacity of someone claiming they’ve somehow laughed so hard that their ass came off should have been enough of a red flag for us. We see it now as a cry for help.”

According to every government and press agency we’ve contacted, though there have been multitudinous reports of LMAO, there has yet to be one actual confirmed case on record.

However, we were able to track down and talk to part of the one percent.

“Yes, when I laugh, I invariably end up on the ground,” reported T. H. (not his real name). “But it’s not because I am upholding a sense of duty or social responsibility–it’s actually a condition of mine which can’t be controlled. It’s called ROFLing and, seriously, it’s nothing to laugh at.”

Share

This post was written by

- who has written 50 posts on GlossyNews.com.

Writer and editor of Iron E-News - a satirical news website dedicated to that ever-abiding alternate bizarro world--at times all too closely mirroring our own. *Also writes under the pseudonym W.P. Scranton

.

2 Responses to “Study: 98% of Internet Users Admit their ROFL is Just LOL”

  1. Jason Velez says:

    I am literally LMAO right now

Trackbacks/Pingbacks


Leave a Reply


We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés


-- (SEE ALL GlossyNews.com Videos) --



Glossy News Fake Commercials!





Glossy News Podcast


(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)


More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?



Our Top Authors (last 30-days)



All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial