Author: Wallace Runnymede
Innocent Hillary Unjustly Victimised Re: “Dead New Yorker” Comments
Future disgraced US President Hillary Clinton… Sorry, I mean, disgraced future US President Hillary Clinton… Well, to keep it simple, the somewhat more talented and principled member of the Hill and Bill double act (gotcha!) has recently turned up uninvited…
Syrian Rebels Beg Bono for Benefit to Save Them
The last remnants of the allegedly “modern” and “progressive” faction of the Conspicuously Downtrodden Freedom Fighters in Syria™ have come up with a novel plan to prevent their allies in al-Qaeda from spending more time killing them than fighting President…
Dems/Reps Concoct “Jefferson Bible” Sequel
Believe it or not, Thomas Jefferson’s famous pick-and-mix assortment of Godly Greatest Hits, known as the “Jefferson Bible,” isn’t all that, nowadays; not even to the GREATEST CHRISTIAN AUTHORITIES OF ALL™… Well, Ted Haggard never mentioned it in Jesus Camp,…
Belfast Residents Finally Break Silence on 12th of July Nick Minaj Insult
Belfast residents have finally made their feelings known (as people up North undoubtedly do best) regarding a little-known sectarian atrocity from the most recent 12th of July… When a loyalist flute band surrounded a Catholic youth club and started playing…
Wahhabis, Southern Baptists Ban Side-boob; Episcopalians Undecided
Love ‘em or hate ‘em; but like death, taxes, and embarrassingly contrived and preposterous MSNBC op-eds, side-boobs are here to stay. Yup: never mind bitterly warring and counter-warring and counter-counter-counter-owch-a-doodle-warring Social Justice Warriors on Tumblr; or Hamilton Nolan’s online privilege…
David Duke “Clarifies” Anti-Semitic Comments
Famously-allegedly-ish “non-racist™” White supremacist; oh sorry, how un-PC; I meant achingly conspicuous “racial realist™” David Duke has popped out (sorry, popped up) once again. Yes, His Most Exalted Ideological Hipsterness has recently expressed what he calls his “utmost sincere contrition…
Entire International Community Fits/Meets Inside Tiny Beltway Café
Recently, the entire International Community™ met together in a miniscule Beltway Café in Washington. Obviously, this vast group agreed unanimously and without exception concerning all the Matters of Grave Common Concern™ that are of importance to Our Common Humanity.™ And,…
God Finds Message from All Humanity in Cucumber, Fanatics Outraged
It’s often asserted that messages from God can appear in mysterious places… You know, the Madonna popping up in cheese sandwiches, Lady Gaga helping us see the light, Bible/Quran/Dianetics texts being found in the veins of tomatoes… Although admittedly, the…
Rep/Dem Hawks Approve “Moderate Islamist” Manifesto
Frustrated by what they perceive to be the dogmatism both of liberal or secular Muslims on the one hand, and hardcore political Islamists on the other, various factions of moderate political Islamism have released a joint solidarity statement. The statement…
“Patronising Liberal Pastor” Calls Jesus “Inspiring”
Last time, I reminded you how much a certain kind of patronising crap about “inspirational” underdogs and under-non-dogs is now big business. Well, now it’s even infected kinda-normal-and-sensible-within-reason religious circles™. That’s right; worshipers at a somewhat moderate/mainline Church™ in Colorado…