Author: Tim Jones

For years, sports fanatics have debated which is the most exciting spectator sport. Some argue nothing beats football for sheer intensity and physicality. Others point to the gladiator-like combat of hockey. And some people prefer badminton, but then, some people…

[The following is a message from the Portland, Oregon Visitors’ Bureau.] Welcome to Portland, Oregon, America’s Most Liberal City. If you’re planning to spend a few days in the Rose City, we at the Portland Visitor’s Bureau would like to…

[The following is a 100% partially true story]. People routinely accuse me of telling over-the-top fabricated stories in Glossy News. They make these outrageously unfair accusations just because I may bend the truth a tiny bit occasionally – and by…

Dateline: Washington, D.C., January 22, 2017 – The Present BREAKING NEWS. President Trump stunned the nation this afternoon when he said something shocking and deeply disturbing. According to an anonymous insider, he did not tell anyone in advance that he…

Dear President Trump, Let’s be clear: I did not vote for you. But I have to admit – you’re doing an amazing job at Making America Safe Again.

Unless you’re in a coma – or your name is Baron Trump – you’ve no doubt heard about Michael Wolff’s bombshell tell-all book, FIRE AND FURY – INSIDE THE TRUMP WHITE HOUSE. On its release day, F&F sold out in…

Tim Jones: Hey kids. Wanna hear a bedtime story? Several young children: Yes, Mr. Tim! Please tell us a story! Tim: Okay, but I should warn you. It’s a scary tale!

Dear President Trump, My name is Dr. Nathan Feingold. I’m Head of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins Medical Center. Recently, you received a court order to submit to a battery of psychological tests due to widespread concerns by members of your…

Lately, United Airlines’ longstanding motto, Fly the Friendly Skies, has taken a serious tumble. On a recent flight four passengers were told they had to disembark to make room for airline personnel.

Dear person who never looks up while crossing the street, no matter how much traffic there is, Hey, how’s it going? I hope I didn’t interrupt you from anything important. Please, by all means, go ahead and finish texting LOL…