Author: Rusty
Will Queen Elizabeth Soon Grace the US Dollar?
Where can the good news feasibly begin when the Rainbow starts and ends in crocks of festering shite? The UN’s Climate Conference in Copenhagen has been pre-cursed and already daubed a well-deserved full seven shades of corrupt and deceitful shit-brown…
Twelve Days of Christmas — The Ghost of Christmas Present
On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my true love sent to me Twelve court subpoenas, Eleven texts saying ‘ph*ck you’, Ten bailiffs with repossession orders, Nine blokes to cut the gas off, Eight maids with paternity claims, Seven photos of…
Palin Arrested in Pre-Dawn Raid on Wasilla
Following a blitzkrieg pre-dawn raid on her rural Anchorage six bedroom igloo, involving ice picks, hot air guns and a flamethrower, a Homeland Security strike force this morning arrested failed Republican VP wannabe Sarah Palin on charges of subversion, domestic…
Khymer Henchman Claims Genocide ‘Hard Work’, Demands Freedom
Former Khmer Rouge prison chief Douche Bagg today shocked the UN-funded war crimes tribunal by demanding to be released on the final day of his trial for crimes against humanity, shoplifting and double parking in a restricted zone. The UN’s…
Modern Day Pilgrims Live off the Landfill
The first annual general meeting of the self-styled Freegan’s Society was held this weekend amid the sprawling sand dunes at Scroungeford-on-Sea, culminating in a four-course banquet prepared from waste food that the local garbage tip’s rats and seagulls had disdained…
PM Brown Goes Ga-Ga on Tweeter
Sarah Brown’s Tweeter followers were baffled earlier this week when the Prime Monster’s long-suffering wife “twatted” a random set of letters that even caused cryptologists at the UK’s super secret Bletchley Park ‘el-int ‘ spy centre to scratch their heads…
Sippin’ Whiskey – Okay – but Sippin’ Beer?
A controversial Scottish brewery has launched what it described as the world’s strongest beer – with a 32% alcohol content. Tactical Nuclear Penguin – with a radioactive half-life of several centuries – has been unveiled by SpewDog of Twatborough.
Taliban Announces 30,000 Jihadist Surge to Match US
President Obama today announced that in line with the Rothshite Zionist-dictated edict that the United States is not allowed a Middle East or foreign policy separate from – or in conflict with – Israel’s, he will be dispatching an additional…
EU/DEFRA Devise “Stop-Farming” Ag Subsidies
Dear Secretary of State: My friend Old McDonald, who’s family have been farmers since the dawn of time, recently received a cheque for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing 50 pigs. In light of this fortuitous commercial opportunity I too would now like to sign up for the all-new E-USSR / DEFRA-funded / subsidised “not rearing pigs” business.
Iran Declares Victory in “Art Student’s Yacht-gate”
The UK Foreign Office has now switched its typical slack-arsed press release from ‘actively investigating’ reports that five British yachtsmen – including their yacht – have been arrested by Iran’s Revolutionary Guard to ‘actively investigating’ reports that the five have…