Author: Rusty
Literal Dog Gang Finally Collared
A pack of mutts known locally as the Manky Mongrel Gang have been arrested by a joint action team of police and the RSPCA’s elite Canine Squad officers following the discovery of £3,000 of stolen pet food during a raid…
Innovative Cops Boost Income by Robbing Cars
While there’s nothing unusual about discovering items of value have been stolen from unlocked (or locked) parked cars – including the actual car wheels or engine – or the car itself – by opportunist thieving Pikey scallies during the deepening…
Anti-Graft Boss Caught Elbow-Deep in Graft
Campaigners have condemned the reappointment of the head of Kenya’s anti-corruption agency – the KACC (pronounced ‘cack’) – by the 105-year old President Dogbone Meow Kitkatbar.
NHS E-Mail Reply Three Years Late
The National Health Service has apologised after writing to a man to address various concerns over his hospital medical treatment – three-and-half years after he kicked the bucket and went aloft to join the Choir Invisible.
iPhone Explodes in Ossetia – Millions Feared Dead
French consumer groups are investigating a disturbing bout of recent reports concerning iPhone 3GS models that have exploded or burst into flames spontaneously.
Sexy Prison Guard Too Gorgeous, Fired
A female prison officer was forced out of her job after being bullied because she was considered too pretty to enforce discipline, a Smegmadale Employment Tribunal heard this week. Fellatia Sodomberg, 27, a former Albanian BD/SM Pro-Dominatrix, is claiming constructive…
War Criminals Pack Wimbledon Stands
The Centre Court at Wimbledon last Sunday saw a plethora of famous faces and porcine celebrity past-its packed into the stands to watch the men’s singles final between Roger Federer of Cuckoo Clock Land and Andy Roddick of the good…
12yo Boy “Not Father” According Reason, Fact
Alfie McScrunt, the boy who was reported to have fathered a child when he was 12 years old, is not the baby’s father, DNA tests have shown. Alfie, now 13, of Smegmadale’s Sink or Swim Housing Estate, told the ‘underage…
Middle East Caught Harboring WWII-Era Nazi
Pope Benny, the all-new German Mark XVI model, has left Rome for a visit to the Middle East – the first tour of the holy places of Christendom by a Pope since Christianity lost Jerusalem to the great unwashed Islamic…
Fat Gits Causing Global Warming
This week’s Dogwanker’s Review headline reveals that being overweight is bad for the environment as well as your health, according to the results of a leaked survey financed by the Ministry for Wasting Money. Researchers at the London School for…