On the Twelfth Day of Christmas my true love sent to me
Twelve court subpoenas,
Eleven texts saying ‘ph*ck you’,
Ten bailiffs with repossession orders,
Nine blokes to cut the gas off,
Eight maids with paternity claims,
Seven photos of her toy boys,
Six bills from her jewellers
Five more from a wine store,
Four bricks chucked thru me windows,
Three used French letters – knotted,
Two demands for alimony,
And her f*ckin’ big credit card bill !
