Paris, TX — Canada, once one of America’s staunchest allies in North America and a bulwark against growing aboriginal unrest and encroachment of the Scandinavian powers, continues to befuddle the West.

In the 1950s, 60s, and 70s Canada, with the backing of the US and England, grew to prominence in North America. Canada became a ‘strongman’ and a policeman that the West could rely on in a sea of continuous turmoil in a region troubled by the growing influence of capitalism and rock and roll. Continue Reading

Miami Beach FL (GlossyNews) – As the great Jerry Lee Lewis once sang: “Too much love drives a man insane.” Tiger Woods took a page from the Killer’s book last week and finished recording his own solo album.

The 14 track CD, tentatively titled ‘Can’t Tame This Tiger’, includes his renditions of a number of classic hits such as “Teddy Bear”, “Shot Through The Heart”, “You’re All I’ve Got Tonight”, “Satisfaction”, Continue Reading

Cambridge MA (GlossyNews) — Scientists in a leading institute of technology announced this week that they are making headway into a bold new way to store radioactive waste. Stepping back from creating huge ‘landfills’ of radioactive waste, two scientists are taking a different approach.

The scientists — physicist Dr Hugo Green, and photocytologist Dr Melvin Wirths, APS, decided it would be easier — and safer — to store the radioactive waste in tiny, microscopic amounts. An added benefit — it will make your yard look better! Continue Reading

Hoboken NJ — In an effort to provide the best possible universal health care coverage to American Citizens, the Senate today released a new, surprise, Health Care Plan where all coverage will be provided through the ‘Bill Whiddel Insurance Agency’. Mr Whiddel runs a small, one man office in Hoboken, New Jersey. Whiddel was surprised by the plan, which would give him $400 Billion per year for the next 52 years to provide health care coverage to all Americans. Continue Reading

Houston (GlossyNews Exclusive) — Housing starts all over the country have soared in the last two weeks as contractors went back to work building with a vengance. Only problem is — there are no buyers. Already over 200 general contractors, in Texas alone, have started projects which will eventually yield 12,000 housing units, two schools and a casino on an Indian reservation. Over 8000 new jobs have been created, although not one dollar of salary has been generated. Continue Reading

Tulsa — Granville Oral Roberts was traded to heaven in a reported three-way deal with the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies, one of whom reportedly stated after the World Series, “I’d sell my soul to play for the Yankees.”

Some are claiming God may have violated the terms of an ill-fated 1986 agreement in which Roberts would be claimed on waivers to heaven if he didn’t raise $8 million for missionary work and convert souls at a .280 average or better. Continue Reading