Author: P. Beckert
Woman Injured After Practicing Faulty Feng Shui
Gladys Schumwerner of Columbus, Ohio suffered a broken finger and several lacerations after the laughing Buddha she attached to a wire hanging from her ceiling fell, hitting her squarely in the left hand. It was the third in several unfortunate…
Can Newt Gingrich Stay Out of Trouble with Bachmann and Palin in GOP Race
In order for Newt Gingrich to be able to compete in a widening field of candidates for the GOP Presidential nomination, he’s had to come clean about his past womanizing. While no one is really buying his excuse that his…
House Gym Gets Thorough Scrubbing as More Weiner Photos Surface
Washington, DC – The cleaning staff at the Rayburn House Office Building in Washington, D.C. has been asked to give a thorough scrubbing to the entire members’ gym area after more illicit photos surfaced showing half-naked NY Rep. Anthony Weiner….
Sarah Palin Totally Baffled on New England History Tour
As Sarah Palin wound down her One Nation tour of New England, one thing was abundantly clear to all who came in contact with her. She needed a lesson or two in the history department. From the Liberty Bell to…
Satan Tired of Being Blamed for Internet Porn-Related Scandals
Word has it that old Beelzebub is furious these days over being blamed for everything from pictures of Lindsay Lohan’s hoohah to Anthony Weiner’s bulging BVD’s. He claims that he’s tired of being a catchall for mankind’s failure to control…
Sarah Palin Has ‘Todd’ Tattoo Removed
In yet another breaking story from an undisclosed source that the Palins are divorcing, a supposed cosmetic surgeon in Phoenix has neither confirmed nor denied that she performed a tattoo removal for Sarah Palin. But sources close to the sometimes…
Radical New Self-Help Book Has Readers Beating Themselves Up
A new self-help book by previously unknown psychiatrist and author, Dom N. Adeur, Ph.D. is quickly making its way up the NY Times Bestseller List. It’s OK to Smack Your Inner Child has been hailed by Dr. Adeur’s peers as…
California Voters Call for Retroactive Impeachment of Schwarzenegger
Millions of California voters are jumping on the bandwagon calling for the impeachment of former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in order to cut off his government pension they say is helping fund his multiple households. Mildred Commoner is a 36-year old…
Crap, I Totally Blew Off the Day of Doom
Well, I had every good intention of giving the End of the World* my undivided attention. Unfortunately, I had several things on my to do list that took precedence and, before I knew it, the day was upon me. Looked…
Trump Ends Presidential Bid Due to Medical Condition
Donald Trump announced today that he won’t be seeking the GOP nomination for President in 2012. While many speculated it was because he realized that he would have a hard time securing that nomination, even if he bought it, the…