California Voters Call for Retroactive Impeachment of Schwarzenegger

Millions of California voters are jumping on the bandwagon calling for the impeachment of former Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in order to cut off his government pension they say is helping fund his multiple households.

Mildred Commoner is a 36-year old paralegal living and working in San Diego. She and her husband, Paul set up a hotline immediately after the news broke asking Californians to stand behind a bill that would be the first of its kind to impeach a former governor for offenses committed before and during his tenure.

“We’ll be damned if we are going to pay for two or maybe even more households,” said Commoner. “We did the math and realized that Mr. Schwarzenegger knew this scandal, if revealed early, would spell doom for his political aspirations and so he kept quiet for over a decade. That alone is an impeachable offense.”

Ms. Commoner went on to explain that while she can’t positively say where the money came from to keep the governor’s mistress quiet throughout his 8-year term, she is willing to bet that some of it came out of the taxpayers’ pockets.

“We need to nip this in the bud now,” said Paul Commoner, “or next thing you know, we’ll be paying for all the other illegitimate kids he’s sired along with the real estate to house them.”

When reached for comment, former Governor Schwarzenegger merely stated he cannot be impeached as he is not a natural-born citizen of the United States.

Author: P. Beckert

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