Author: norbert b. snortwhistle
New Obama Program Pays You to Burn Down Your House
Asheville, North Carolina (GlossyNews) — The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle. In his latest bid to pump up the economy before the 2012 election, President Obama introduced a new program, “Bucks for Burn Downs,” that will pay financially…
McCain To Run For President in 2044
Burning Candles, Arizona (GlossyNews) — The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle. Former GOP presidential candidate John McCain will launch another bid for the White House in 2044, and is “firmly committed to running a vigorous, full-steam ahead” campaign.
Crayola Announces New “John Boehner Orange” Crayon Color
Pumpkin Place, Ohio (GlossyNews) —The poop on politics from Norbert B. Snortwhistle. The iconic Crayola crayon company announced it will introduce a new crayon color, “John Boehner Orange,” based on what it calls the “distinctive, even unique, hues and shades”…
Hillary Clinton’s Gum Chewing Sparks International Crisis
Wrigley Fjord, East Sweden (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. Though she is officially America’s top diplomat, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton committed a grievous etiquette faux pas today by chewing gum in the presence of…
GOP Announces “No Millionaire Left Behind” Tax Reform
PARK PLACE HOTEL, NY (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. In the latest Congressional wrangling over tax policy, Republicans proposed sweeping new reforms, dubbed “No Millionaire Left Behind,” that would permanently slash taxes for the wealthiest…
Labor Dept’s Latest Report Shows Stimulus Created a Job
Hope Springs, Maryland (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. In a triumphant moment for President Obama, the Labor Department’s newest monthly report showed that despite lingering high unemployment, the President’s stimulus program almost certainly created a…
GOP Pledges Rich Can Get Richer, Sick Can Die Broke
Wornolde Points, Ohio (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. News organizations around the world are analyzing the political, economic and policy implications of the recently released GOP “Pledge to America.” But the story doesn’t end there….
Tea Party Slams “Elitist” D.C. Table Manners
Twin Dorks, NV (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with norbert b. snortwhistle. In a blistering attack on the “political elitism that is destroying America” Nevada Senate candidate and Tea Party favorite Sharron Angle slammed the “fancy table manners in…
Obama Will Leave Obama Administration Next Year
PINES RETREAT, Illinois(GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with norbert b. snortwhistle. In the latest high profile defection from the Obama administration, President Obama announced he will leave the administration early next year to return to community organizing and perhaps…
Obama’s Corndog Fiasco Equals Woe for Midwest Democrats
Hogs Butte, IA (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. In a giant miscue that could cost Democrats even more Congressional seats this November, President Obama revealed he is “no big fan” of corn dogs, a favored…