Romney Ahead 99 Pts Among Those Who Think Twinkies are Vegetables

GlossyNews.comCINCINNATI – The latest exit polls are showing Mitt Romney is leading President Obama by an estimated 99 points among voters who think Twinkies are a vegetable.

The results would have actually been 100% but when one Romney voter was asked what Twinkies were he responded, “footwear.”

The margin of error for this poll is +/- 59-points, so this could mean that only 50% of voters think Twinkies are vegetables, and Romney is president, or 158% of voters hold that opinion.

RIGHT: Is this the new food pyramid? The scroll at the bottom of the screen sure thinks so, and so does my 9-year-old son. (CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE)

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Clearly this is a big win for Con Agra, whose USDA subsidized attempts at stuffing corn husks down our children’s throats are working. This is a big vindication for them, and a well spent $4 million on lobbying in the past 36-months alone.

Author: Mark Garrison

Mark Garrison is both a loving husband, a devoted father, and a steadfast rebel when it comes to the word "both." His work has appeared in Opium Magazine, Monkeybicycle, and many other places with interesting names.

2 thoughts on “Romney Ahead 99 Pts Among Those Who Think Twinkies are Vegetables

  1. This article is obviously dumb. Twinkies ARE vegetables… look at the ingredients. Study it out. High fructose CORN syrup… vegetable. Point reality, your blog sucks.

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