Year: 2012
Bigfoot Saves Man from Chupacabra
Spanish Forks, Idaho has long been famous for trout fishing and scenic mountain vistas. Many in this small town now wonder if that has changed forever, given recent events. Accounts differ, but most agree it began with local man Al…
Etch-A-Mitt™ Galvanizes The GOPTea™
NORTH WISCONSIN —GlossyNews “America hasn’t been working,” Romney said at a recent political rally in north Wisconsin, “…and I believe it’s because they don’t have jobs. Wisconsin is like all the rest of the states. Where have all your jobs…
If Republican Candidates Had Lived At Other Times In History
Had the key 2012 Republican candidates* lived previous lives, what might have been their comments at the following historical events? THE MIDDLE AGES- A WITCH BURNING: SANTORUM: This harlot before us is one of Satan’s own who has used her…
States Unwittingly Promote Masturbation by Prohibiting Gateway Sexual Activity
SALT LAKE CITY – In a poll taken of students in several states including Utah and Wisconsin, where new laws have been enacted to promote abstinence only as a way to prevent unwanted pregnancies, it was discovered that masturbation has…
GOP Halloween Haunted House of Terror Coming to Tampa
This coming Halloween season, you’ll get a chance to tour one of the scariest amusement attractions you’ll ever experience – if you have the stomach. I’m of course talking about the chillingly scary GOP Presidential Halloween Haunted House of Terror…
Ghost of Thurber Stalks Keith Olbermann
Keith Olbermann now admits he “screwed up” by once failing to complete Part Three of James Thurber’s “The Greatest Man in the World” and is haunted by the irate ghost of the long departed writer and cartoonist. Keith Olbermann, former…
WikiLeaks Reveals Newt-Mitt Meeting Details
Normally talkative sources from campaigns Gingrich and Romney remain silent on a recent summit between the two bitter rivals. Characterized by both camps as more a social ‘let bygones be bygones’ affair, the meeting has left election watchers wondering whether…
Just Whose Heart Beats in Dick Cheney’s Chest?
News information services have informed us that former President-Of-Vice Dick Cheney has had a heart transplant. The former Haliburton head man had to wait almost two years to get his new ticker because of the difficulty of finding a heart…
Comedy Central Hires Keith Olbermann
Keith Olbermann was fired Friday by Current TV for breach of contract. Fortunately for Olbermann, he won’t have to start a new Countdown for the days since his firing or days until his new job. That’s because Olbermann was immediately…
PETA Launches Jackass Campaign
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) announced this week an ambitious new initiative aimed at changing the way people perceive mules. The program was announced by PETA spokesperson Barb Arians in an emotional, sometimes acrimonious press conference. “This…