Month: September 2012
Egyptian Government Plans New Pyramid Construction to Ease Vast Unemployment Problem
Cairo, Egypt – (SatireWorld.com) Egyptian authorities have begun the process of building the fourth Pyramid of Giza in order to aleviate the severe unemployment problem that has plagued the country since 2,000 BC. The Egyptian Department of Slave Labor sources…
Occupy Living Room Protests Still Fighting On
SACRAMENTO- After federal indictments and search warrants have been issued to Occupy Wall Street protest leaders, the Occupy Living Room protests have been continually pressing on, despite harsh criticisms. Although the Occupy Wall Street has lost momentum since last year,…
Roving Bands of Children Rule Chicago
CHICAGO- While the teachers strike is in full swing, the closing of public schools has allowed roving bands of children to compete for supremacy on Chicago’s streets. While reports are unclear which group has gained the most territory, it is…
New York City Criminals Finding Ways to Enjoy 32oz & Larger Sodas
New York City underworld figures and other criminals have been devising clever tactics to circumvent the recently enacted New York ‘Soda Law’, according to anonymous sources. The new law expressly prohibits movie theaters, snack bars, fast food joints and other…
Was Romney’s Horse on Steroids at the London Olympics?
It’s now less than two months until the 2012 presidential election. The field of candidates has been whittled down to the Final 13. The short list includes several impressive independent candidates, like Robert Burck, better known to New Yorkers as…
Obama Finally Apologizes For Recent Secret Service Hooker Scandal
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) After apologizing for just about everything else, President Obama took a few minutes to address the lingering concerns over an apparent lapse in the secret service security detail that ended his recent Columbia trip in a…
Wal-Mart to Reduce Prices to Zero
“We’re all about low prices” took on a new meaning today, as international retail giant Wal-Mart Corporation announced that it would henceforth accept indentured servitude in lieu of cash or credit payment. “It has always been our policy to make…
Romney Promises Back-Cuts If He Wins
Do you remember that kid in elementary school, the one that somehow skated to the front of the line, and then all his friends asked for “cuts”? Mitt Romney is that kid, and he’s ready to allow all his buddies…
V.P. Candidate Paul Ryan’s ‘Perfect Game’ Story Challenged
Janesville, Wisconsin. While attending a Washington National’s baseball game last week, Representative and Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan, chosen to throw out the game’s first pitch, told the cheering crowd at Nationals Park that this reminded him of the time…
Fed Announces Major Wealth Creation Plan to Aid Wealthy
U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke has announced a new plan to stimulate the economy by using public funds to buy up toxic mortgage-backed securities. “Nobody else will buy this crap,” said Bernanke, “so let’s get the American taxpayer to…