Sexy Prison Guard Too Gorgeous, Fired

A female prison officer was forced out of her job after being bullied because she was considered too pretty to enforce discipline, a Smegmadale Employment Tribunal heard this week. Fellatia Sodomberg, 27, a former Albanian BD/SM Pro-Dominatrix, is claiming constructive dismissal and suing Justice Secretary Jack Straw and HM Prison Service after being forced to desert her position at the Smegmadale-on-Sea based Scumbags Young Offenders Holiday Camp. Read more Sexy Prison Guard Too Gorgeous, Fired

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Obamas Worry Martha’s Vineyard Visit “Looks Elitist”

National Enquirer — An intrepid National Enquirer reporter has managed the near-impossible: gain access to the Obama compound on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper. During his time at the estate, John Smith discovered a hiding place in the bushes outside a screened-in porch where top advisors gathered to discuss political strategy. Following is a partial transcript of one of the sessions Smith taped: Read more Obamas Worry Martha’s Vineyard Visit “Looks Elitist”

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